I didn’t say anything, just brushed a kiss against his temple and scooted closer to him so there wasn’t an inch of space between us.
I’d never been into cuddling. I did enough so that the chicks I’d slept with didn’t feel neglected, but that was it. I didn’t sleep with people unless I had no other choice. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d shared a bed with someone, and I’d never once cuddled with a guy.
Jules felt good in my arms. Solid and warm, his scent familiar. I liked it.
His breathing deepened, and he fell asleep.
Holding him felt right. Like he’d been made to fit with me.
The possessive streak that shot through me was sudden and unexpected.
Julesfeltlike mine.
But he wasn’t.
No one ever would be.
I was a fuckup. An inconvenience.
I wasn’t good enough for someone like Jules.
He had every reason in the world to hate me.
Maybe that was for the best.
Being with Jules was easy.Tooeasy. Sexually we were compatible as all hell, but the more we talked, the more Ilikedhim.
Was it possible I’d misdirected my anger and Jules hadn’t deserved the hatred I’d been slinging at him for the past five years?
I closed my eyes and breathed him in.
I’d only had a few drinks at the party, so I’d been mostly sober by the time we’d gotten home.
Now I was fully sober, and my brain was full of uncomfortable thoughts. I was tempted to go and guzzle some of the rum out of the small bottle I kept in my room, but I didn’t want to let Jules go in case something happened.
What if he needed me?
His anguished cry echoed through my head, and the vision of him curled up and sobbing flashed before my eyes.
He’d looked so young, so small and vulnerable.
And so broken.
I was going to murder Gavin if I ever saw his stupid face again.
Jules stirred in my arms, and I pressed a kiss against his neck. He settled and let out a happy-sounding sigh.
At that moment, holding Jules in his tiny-ass bed was the most at peace I’d felt in years. Maybe ever.
I closed my eyes and tried to shut off my brain so I could get some sleep.
* * *
“Ash?”
“Mmmmm?”
I opened my eyes and stared at messy blond hair.