The pain and disappointment roiling around inside me mixed with a healthy dose of jealousy. Bile rose into my throat, and I swallowed hard so I didn’t throw up.
Why was I so surprised? Ash was gorgeous and always had a crowd of girls interested in him. Of course he was hooking up with someone like Genesis.
Tears prickled my eyes.
Fuck.
I put my drink down on the nearest surface and rushed out of the room, ran up the stairs, holding my stomach, as I desperately searched for the bathroom.
I was going to be sick.
Miraculously there wasn’t a line, and I hurried in and slammed the door closed. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and breathed through my nose in an attempt to calm my stomach.
I was pathetic.
No wonder no one wanted to be my friend.
I was pining after my stepbrother, who liked to fuck with me. I was nothing but a toy to him, someone he could manipulate and mess with.
I shouldn’t care. It wasn’t like I wasn’t getting anything out of the deal. The orgasms were amazing, and as much as I hated that I liked it, his filthy mouth got me hotter than anything ever had.
So what if it was all a game to him?
I was learning about myself, and I was getting orgasms on the regular.
I sat back on my heels, my stomach settled.
I was only reacting like this because I was drunk. Sober me could see this for what it was. A fucked-up game.
A dirty little secret.
“What are you doing?”
I snapped my gaze up.
“Gavin?”
He looked gorgeous, as usual, as he leaned against the closed door, his big arms crossed over his massive chest, a calculating look on his face.
“Did you puke?”
“No. Why are you here?”
“This is my frat.” His gaze was piercing. “Why areyouhere?”
“It’s a party.”
“You don’t party.” He took a few steps toward me. “You came here to see me.”
“No.” I stood, my legs shaking so hard I had to grab the edge of the counter to keep from falling over.
“You did.” He swept his gaze up and down my body. “You can pretend all you want, but we both know it’s true.”
“No.” I shook my head and leaned against the counter. “I ended things. Remember.”
“I remember.” He closed the distance between us. “I also remember how you loved getting on your knees for me.”
I swallowed.