“What do you want?”
I glanced at Ash.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice clearer and stronger than before.
“I mean, what do you want to keep this quiet?”
“What, my sexuality or your threats to disown me?”
“This conversation.”
“Nothing.”
“What?”
“I don’t want anything from you, Dad.” Ash sighed heavily. “I never did.”
His dad stayed silent.
“All I’ve ever wanted was my dad.” Ash’s voice cracked on the last word. “That’s it. But I’ll never have that, will I?”
“I-I don’t understand.”
I didn’t know Ash’s dad from a hole in the wall, but something told me he didn’t admit that he was wrong or unsure often.
“Why wasn’t I good enough?” Ash asked thickly. “Why couldn’t you love me like you love them?”
The answering silence spoke volumes.
Ash looked absolutely crestfallen, and I scooted across the bed so I was cuddled up to him.
“Things are… complicated,” his dad finally said.
“Too complicated for us to have any sort of relationship? For me to know my brother and sister? Be a part of my own family, even if it’s only a couple of times a year?”
“Not while you’re living like you are.”
“So you hated me when you thought I was straight, and you hate me now that you know I’m not. I can’t win with you.”
“I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.”
“But you don’t love me.”
“I…”
“Fine. Whatever.” Ash pressed his face against my hair, and a moment later, I felt the telltale droplets of tears. “I’ve gone twenty-one years without a dad. It’s not like this is anything new.”
“Asher…”
“I’m not asking you to suddenly accept that I’m with a man. I’m not asking to be a permanent fixture in your new life. I just want to feel like a part of my own family.”
“What if we came to a compromise?”
“What do you mean?” Ash lifted his head and wiped his eyes.
“I’m going to be campaigning soon, and your… friend has a point. It will look bad if my eldest child isn’t part of things. If you and your… partner”—he almost choked on the word—“agree to come to events and be an official part of my campaign strategy, then we can talk. Maybe spend some holidays together.”
“With Jules?”