“Yeah.” I raked a hand through my hair.
“What are you going to do?”
“No clue?”
“Are you going to just keep it a secret forever?”
“I don’t know. I mean, it’s only been a few weeks since we started actually talking to each other.”
“Yeah, but you two have always had chemistry, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like you were attracted to him for all these years. Was it the same for him?”
“How did you know I was attracted to him? I never told anyone that.”
She gave me a pointed look. “I know you, Ash. I could see it when you talked about him. There was anger there, hatred too, but your eyes don’t lie. Not to me at least.”
“You’re going to make a fantastic lawyer.” I snorted and leaned back in the swing. “You don’t miss anything.”
“It’s my superpower.”
Silence descended between us, but it wasn’t strained.
“Ash?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve never seen you like this. The way you talk about him, the look on your face. You love him, don’t you?”
My face warmed.
“That’s a good thing.” She squeezed my forearm. “I’ve known you since we were five. I’ve never seen you this settled. This happy.”
“It’s too soon to love him. And way too soon to tell him.”
“Maybe, but don’t discount your feelings. Hold it in if it’s not the right time, but don’t convince yourself it’s not true. That he could never love you back.”
Tears prickled behind my eyes, but I blinked them back. I wasn’t going to cry in Darren’s gazebo, damn it.
“You’re a good person, Ash. Underneath all that attitude and self-doubt. You deserve to be loved. And you are.”
I couldn’t look at her and stared at my hands blindly.
“Your parents are horrible, selfish people. They always have been, but their shittiness isn’t a reflection on you.”
“It’s hard to remember that when I see them with my brother and sisters.” I laid my head on the back of the swing and stared into the darkness. “My dad spent my entire life acting like my very existence was a hassle. I have zero memories of just hanging out with him, doing stuff, bonding. Nothing. Then I see him all over Jenna’s Insta, taking family trips and doing photo shoots and doting on Everleigh and Brycen. What’s wrong with me that he couldn’t love me like he does them?”
Liv took my hand and squeezed it. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Ash. This is all him. My dad told me he’s thinking of running for office.”
“Your dad?”
“No, yours.”
“Really?”
She nodded.