“Partially.” He pulled into the parking lot of a minimall. He stopped the van in a back corner and put it in Park. “I needed to make sure you were okay before we started having sex again. Being rough with you while you were healing didn’t sit right with me.”
“That was a good call. I don’t think I could have handled it at first. But we’ve been having sex for a week.A lotof sex.”
He chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “Yes, we have.”
“I mean, I’m not complaining,” I said quickly. “Big fan of all the sexy times no matter which Ash comes out to play.”
“Considering you like waking me up in the middle of the night so you can ride me until you fall back asleep, I figured you were a fan.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re cute when you blush.”
“Glad you think so.” I wiped my hands down my face, like I could scrape off the color. “I guess I’m just curious why things have switched.”
He looked at me for a long moment, like he was trying to figure something out.
“The first time we had sex, your first time ever, it was angry. It was rough and hard, and even though it felt good, I didn’t do it out of any sort of tender feelings.”
“Why did you?”
“Because I was jealous as fuck. I hated the idea of you banging some random stranger. When you told me it didn’t happen, I lost it. I was angry at some other shit, and my impulse control was at zero. I was overcome with the need to have you. To be your first so you’d never forget me.”
My breath caught at his words. He’d wanted me that much? It hadn’t all been one-sided?
“That night, you told me you couldn’t be gentle, but you were.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“You were. You went slow and let me get used to you. You even prepped me when I’d already done it.”
“That’s not being gentle. That’s being a decent human being. Not ripping your virgin ass open in anger is the baseline of how you treat a partner, not the benchmark.”
“Oh, I just…” My face heated, and I looked away. “I just have nothing to compare it to.”
“I might have hated you, but I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m… I’m not like that. I like it rough and hard, but only because you’re into it too.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that you’re like that—”
“I know. But you asked, so I’m telling you.”
I stayed quiet, letting him decide if he wanted to keep the conversation going.
“But back to what I was saying before. For over a month, every sexual experience we had was the same. Angry, hateful. Hell, for the first few times I didn’t even let you know that I was getting off too.”
“Oh, I knew.” I smirked. “Your dick is way too big to hide. I saw you were hard.”
“Did you know that I went into my room and jerked off when I was done with you?”
“You did?”
He nodded, his eyes filled with desire and heat.
“You were so sexy when you let me get you off. The way you begged… fuck, Jules.” He waved at his crotch, at his hard dick tenting his jeans. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.
“I kept trying to stay away from you, but you’d do something to piss me off, and then the need would be there and… yeah. That didn’t work.”