Then I leave him there.
As I head back to my locker with a crumbling heart, I realize why being back between these walls feels so different.
It feels different because I’m different.
This summer changed me.
Finn changed me.
But in the end…
I couldn’t change him.
* * *
Finn
The cafeteria is so loud I can barely hear myself think as Xavier and I edge through the crowd to meet the guys. Theo, Axel, and a few players from the team are already seated at our usual table, cracking jokes about people I know for a fact don’t hold a candle to me.
Truth is, I’m the biggest joke around. No, I’m a whole-ass comedy showfor pulling away when she hugged me this morning. Why the fuckdid I pull away?
It’s so easy when we’re alone. When I have her backed up in a corner, big brown eyes blinking up at me, but in front of my friends? In front of the world? That shit feels like running through a battlefield naked.
It’s like I don’t want people to know that I care. And it’s not because I’m ashamed of her. If I’m honest, it’s not even about Dia at all. It’s about me.
I spend the next five minutes playing with my fork and staring at the unappealing food on my plate. I’m briefly brought back to reality by Theo apologizing for his absence the day of Lexie’s death.
Something about his psycho parents taking his phone and locking him inside his room for twenty-four hours when he stopped by to get some of his stuff.
I nod, accepting his apology, regardless of the fact that I didn’t need it, and retreat to a faraway world. I’ve almost successfully drowned out Axel’s sexist jokes when he says the one thing that could capture my attention.
Her name.
“Fuck, she’s hot. Dia, is it?”
My eyes lift from my food tray to Axel leaning back into his seat, staring at the cafeteria entrance. I follow his eyes to the large wooden doors, spotting her immediately.
She’s walking with Aveena Harper, outshining every fucking girl in the room with her plump mouth and lustrous curls. I didn’t know Dia was friends with Aveena.
Aveena’s mom and mine were tight when we were kids. Xavier and I would hang out with her every weekend and pull a bunch of sick pranks on her to make her life miserable. He refused to say it out loud, but Xavier had the biggest fucking crush on her. I remember giving him so much shit for it.
I can’t tear my eyes away as Dia saunters farther into the cafeteria, looking for a place to sit. And I’m not the only one staring. The whole table is.
Hell, any guy who has eyes is staring.
We must be pretty obvious because Aveena elbows Dia, gesturing toward us with her chin.
Dia’s head snaps up.
And our eyes lock across the room.
A twinge of pain colors her dark eyes for a fleeting moment, but she’s quick to bury it, looking away. She finds two available seats shortly after.
“Look, Richards, it’s your girlfriend.” Axel scorns.
My fists contract into tight balls. That’s what I was afraid of. The guys thinking that I’m whipped.
And honestly?