Aveena
The springs used to be my favorite place in town. It was the only place where I could breathe without the oxygen stalling in my lungs. The only place where I could just be without feeling like a fat man was sitting on my chest.
The stream by the springs practically became my new home the weeks after my papa’s funeral.
I’d sit on the grass for hours and listen to the water, the birds, and the quiet.
Mom didn’t know what to do with me. She couldn’t possibly comprehend why I’d flip my shit at the mention of driving back home. For a little while, visiting our spot helped me cope with the world continuing to spin without him.
Then I got sick of missing him, and it ruined our spot.
Like a song you listen to so much you eventually start to hate it.
Now I only ever come here on the anniversary of his death and visit him at the cemetery every few weeks.
When Xav’s truck pulled up in front of my house at 1:00 a.m., I had no idea where he intended to take me for our “date.” I was nervous It’s hard not to be after he had his fingers deep inside me, but never in a million years would I have expected to wind up in the deserted parking lot by the springs.
Xav backed into a parking space in reverse to give us a clear shot of the water, grabbed a few blankets and pillows off the back seat and said, “You coming, Harper?”
We’ve been lying in the bed of Xavier’s truck with the tailgate open, watching the sky, laughing and discussing everything but important matters for over an hour now.
We didn’t bring up the confessions, or my reputation being dragged through the mud.
We’ve just been talking on a bed of blankets, munching on the three-week-old Jolly Ranchers Xav had lying around in his car. Pretending like the hunt for Zac and Love isn’t still raging and the entire school isn’t out to get us.
“Fucking clouds,” Xavier huffs when the sea of stars above our heads disappear behind a thick layer of fog.
“Didn’t check the weather for tonight, did we?” I tease.
A devilish smirk tugging at his lips, Xav whisks his head to look at me and sets my skin on fire with one question.
“You seriously think I was able to think about the weather after finger-fucking you against the wall?”
My cheeks heat up to intolerable degrees.
“So… Duke, huh?” I clear my throat, my sudden topic change fueling the sexy smirk on his face. “I’m guessing that basketball scholarship is a lifelong dream of yours?”
“You bet.” He shifts his attention back to the sky. “My pops and I have been talking about it since I was a five. Can’t see myself doing anything else.”
“I envy that,” I confess. “Having a passion, a purpose. I wish I had one of those.”
“You expect me to believe that the girl who knows everything doesn’t know what to do with the rest of her life?” Xav taunts.
“I’m serious.” I nudge him with my elbow. “I’ve never really had the chance to figure out what my thing was, you know?” My eyes widen. “Oh, God, what if I don’t have a thing?”
Xav laughs a deep laugh that makes my pulse fall out of step.
“We all have a thing, Harper.” He looks at me through the darkness. “Just takes some of us longer to find it.”
I nod, a shy smile forming on my lips.
I want nothing more than to believe him.
“What about you?” Xavier revives the conversation. “What’s the deal with your scholarship? I’ve seen your house, Vee. Your folks are clearly comfortable.”
“Their money, not mine.” I shrug. “I’ve known from the day we found out my sister could sing that I’d have to fend for myself.”
“Ashley, is it?” Xavier asks.