Our darkest secrets.
I can feel the air thinning, my ability to speak dying on my tongue when Xavier and I lock eyes across the room, invisible strings tethering us together like chains. I must black out for a bit because by the time my brain reconnects with my body, Dia and I are part of the guys’ circle, smack in the middle of the hysteria.
I can feel him staring at me.
I feel the weight of Xavier’s gaze crushing my shoulders, every bone, every atom in my body imploring me to return his glances, but I can’t bring myself to face him.
My confessions might not portray me in the best light, but his confessions, especially the one about his mom, could lead to criminal charges. They can’t ever trace it back to Xav.
How is this even possible? We were so careful. Made sure to take the confessions out of the book as we went to prevent this exact situation.
“It’s all everybody’s talking about.” Dia gestures to the pieces of my bleeding heart scattered all over school. “A bunch of anonymous confessions were found hidden in some book at the library.”
That’s not true, I want to scream.
They weren’t found.
This is a setup!
I zero in on the copies dispersed down the hall. These are pictures of the sticky notes. It makes sense. The only way someone could have printed them out on such a massive scale was if they’d photographed each confession after we stashed them into the book.
But… how?
Was someone watching us this whole time? Lurking around the corner? Waiting for the right moment to get to the book? Who could be so cruel? That’s when I notice the bold, black letters printed at the top of each copy.
WHO WROTE THE CONFESSIONS?
#FindZacAndLove
What. The. Hell?
As if it wasn’t bad enough that they exposed our deepest, darkest secrets, now they want to expose us, too?
“Dude, check this one out.” Axel elbows Finn, showing him one of our most painful memories.
“Man, I almost feel bad for this Zac fella.” Finn guides his fist to his mouth to contain his laughter. “Guess the ‘I fucked your mom’ jokes really do apply to him, huh?”
Axel and Theo burst out laughing. I feel so bad for Xavier. I can picture him standing there, taking his friends’ slander like a champ, but I still lack the strength to look at him.
I just… can’t.
“Guys, knock it off,” Dia snaps, swiping the piece of paper from Axel’s hands and crumpling it up into a ball. “That’s an awful thing to do, air out someone’s dirty laundry for the whole world to see. Fuck whoever did this.”
“Maybe they should’ve thought of that before sharing their dirty laundry in a book anyone could find.” Axel shrugs, picking another confession off the floor. “Someone’s been a naughty girl.”
“Let me see.” Theo snatches the confession out of Axel’s fingers to see for himself. “Damn, Love. Fucking your sister’s boyfriend. Now that’s harsh.”
“What a whore,” Axel sneers, ripping another sliver of my trauma off a random locker, and my stomach twists with shame. “Jesus, this is some dark shit,” he chimes after reading the confession. “This one is about some guy offing himself.”
I think I’m about to collapse for a second there.
The ground feels like it’s caving in.
Slipping under my feet.
Tears start pooling in my eyes.
“I-I have to go the bathroom,” I tell Dia, who’s too busy scolding Axel for his latest remark to hear me, and spin on my heels, maneuvering around the crowd of gossipy students.