“Uncle, uncle, park?” Mia says, pointing outside, meaning she wants me to take her out.
“Soon, Baby girl.”
“You said that last time. Eventually, she’s going to get upset with you,” Estelle chides.
“It’s probably best if she gets used to the nanny taking her to the park.” I have my reasons for saying that, and she knows what they are.
Her smile recedes and is replaced by a pensive expression. The moment I see that I know she’s going to launch into one of her talks.
“Alejandro, is this how you want the two of you to live? She just wants you, and she should want you.”
I hold her gaze, knowing she’s right, but doing what she’s asking me to do is something I’ve struggled with since the day I learned a truth that changed everything for me.
“I need to be her uncle.”
Her face hardens. “But you are not her uncle.”
She would never normally say such a thing out loud, speaking a truth only she and Cristiano know.
It’s a truth I wrestle with daily, hourly, fuck, by the fucking second.
“Estelle, I need to be her uncle. I can’t tarnish my brother’s name in that way.”
“You don’t normally care what people think.”
“I care about that, about this.”
“The dead are gone and have no feelings left in this world. Just memories. My time here is drawing to an end, and it saddens me that you would have this little angel, who loves you so much, growing up thinking you’re her uncle, when she couldn’t have asked for a better father.”
Mia looks at me and runs a little hand through my beard. I cup her little face wishing I could bring myself to live the truth, but doing so would mean returning to the past. I can’t do that just yet.
“I appreciate your words, Estelle. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”
She gives me an exasperated sigh when I hand Mia to her.
“Think about what I’m saying, Alejandro. Don’t just tell me you appreciate my words. Listen. Don’t just hear.”
“Okay. I’m listening, and I’ll be back for dinner later.”
She gives me a little smile.
“Uncle,” Mia says, and the title stings the same way it does every time I hear it.
It was the same sting to my heart when I found out how Priscilla lied to me, and Eduardo, too.
Her lies and deceit could have ruined everything. It was fucking bad enough that she never told me she was engaged to my brother, but she tried to hide my child from me, too.
Eduardo was in love with her.
He loved Priscilla more than life itself, and when he realized his wife was pregnant, he shouted it from the rooftop and told the world.
He was proud, but more than anything, he found true love and the purest happiness in the little family he created. People far and wide knew it, too.
That’s why I wrestle with openly being Mia’s father. It was something he never found out, and I’m glad he never did.
The same way I’m glad he never knew the vile truth about his dear wife Priscilla.
He didn’t know she was cheating on him with me while he was tending to business in Argentina. The whole time, she knew we were brothers and made a fool and mockery out of me. That was the last blow love dealt me, as if the first blow hadn’t ruined me.
I know Eduardo is dead and gone, and how he feels doesn’t matter anymore. But to me it’s about preserving the honor and loyalty we had between us as brothers.
So, until I can cross the bridge of being Mia’s father, she’ll continue to be my daughter in my heart and my dreams.
I kiss her on her forehead then walk away, continuing to play the role of the good uncle.