He wants to know what I did to them, and why they came for me. But like his brother’s he won’t ask me until he thinks it’s relevant, or until I tell him.
Maybe it’s time to.
We stare at each other for a few moments too long and it becomes obvious he’s waiting for me to tell him why I believe I got what I deserved.
Why I lived the nightmare of losing my family.
“They came for me through my family because I did a job for them and the feds busted the operation,” I explain and the intense look in his eyes fades.
“The feds?”
“Yeah. I was … an enforcer for the Order,” I confess and his skin pales. Those words always sound foreign to me. Like I’m talking about someone else who fucked up. Not me.
“You?”
“Yes. It’s not something I’m proud of, obviously.”
“Yeah obviously. Did they ever ask you to become a member?”
“A million times, but I didn’t want that. Our Brotherhood would have been against it. Being an enforcer allowed me more freedom.”
“Why did you work with them? We seem to have a similar background.”
I pause for a moment to think about the answer, which doesn’t make sense either.
“I was jealous of my brother and the way my father was with him,” I confess. “Both are men I looked up to but there was always that thing that kept me in line. I was power hungry and at the time I knew I would never be Pakhan. I knew my father was always going to choose Viktor.”
“I understand that. I looked up to my father and brothers too. My father gave us all a chance to prove ourselves when he wanted to choose a leader for the empire, but I knew he was always going to choose Massimo. I think we all did, even as we battled to prove ourselves.”
Sometimes the freakish similarities I share with Dominic throw me off kilter. Mostly because I don’t expect people to understand me, definitely not when it comes to the reasoning behind my previous mistakes.
“I’m sure like my father, yours would have valued you for what you could do,” I say.
“He did and I always felt bad for thinking otherwise.”
“Me too. The Order came to me because of my role in my family’s company. I was the muscle, but I also had something they wanted. Our logistics company can get past any shipping restrictions. My father would have turned them away, but I was too greedy to say no. I didn’t know the feds were watching me on a drug trafficking deal. The Order lost millions when the feds raided the shipment. It was my fault. I practically led them straight to the door.”
“Fuck. But how’d they find out it was you?”
That’s the question of the millennia. A sinister smile tugs at the corners of my lips.
“I was set up Dominic. Someone told them. Someone close to me to get past my security systems that you can’t just hack. I’m the only person in my family who can hack, and you’ve seen what I can do. So, whoever it was either gave them the password or just opened the door.”
It’s now I really have his attention.
“Fucking hell. Did you tell anybody what happened with the Feds?”
“My father and brother. It wasn’t them, though.” I might not trust myself anymore, but I trust that. “Then when Gabriella died everything was so raw I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Her family blamed mine because her father never wanted her to marry me in the first place. Gabriella’s death caused a division unlike any other in the Bratva. Her father was one of my father’s Avtoryets. So he had a position of authority. My father allowed him to leave after incident because of the shame.”
Shame I will never stop feeling.
I rest my hand on my lap. “For a long time, I just thought the Order had someone watching me after the bust, but after the storm blew over, I realized someone must have set me up. I could be wrong, but I can’t explain it any other way.”
This is the first time I’ve spoken my mind, and the first time I’ve talked about the incident in such a great detail.
“Jesus Aiden. So that someone might still be around?”
I nod slowly and the shadow of worry deepens in his expression.