I hate crying in front of him, but I can’t help myself. I’ve been a mess since I found out I’ll be marrying this monster and I can’t seem to find myself.
The tears roll down my cheeks and he laughs at me. His fingers loosen from his grasp and I draw in a breath to try and calm down.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little origami flower my kind stranger gave me.
“Look at this shit,” he taunts and before I can say another word, he tears it up, ripping it to shreds. He walks out, slamming the door.
My heart breaks as I look at the pieces of paper on the floor. I slide off the bed and gather them. There’s no trace of the beautiful flower. It’s just a mess, like me. Pieces of what used to be, all torn apart and irreparable.
I don’t know what will happen from one day to the next.
Everyday seems to get worse.
Soon there will be nothing left of me.
* * *
This morning was just the start of another disastrous day with Dmitri. Usually on Friday’s I do art therapy with my patients. He wouldn’t allow me to because they were travelling to another clinic for the session. It was from one disaster to the next.
We’ve been home now for hours. Sacha came to start his shift, but Dmitri insisted on staying and sticking around like the asshole he is.
I’ve been downstairs with the both of them, just sitting in the sitting room watching TV. It’s safer to be out here with Sacha and not alone in my room where Dmitri can get to me. I’m so suffocated though I feel like I’m drowning. Drowning in sorrow and shit just from his presence.
It’s nine before he stands up like he’s going to leave. Another ten minutes passes, however, as he goes into the kitchen to make himself a drink.
I hold my breath when he shrugs into his jacket.
“Think I might spend the weekend here with you,” he says.
Sacha just looks at him and doesn’t answer.
Dmitri blows me a kiss. Then the bastard just walks out with that smile on his face.
I push to my feet when the door closes, and I look at Sacha. He’s already looking at me.
He comes over and stops before me.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“No, I’m not. What am I going to do Sacha?” I rasp out. “I don’t know what my father was thinking. This is going to destroy me. Having Dmitri in my life all the time is going to kill me.”
“I’m sorry Isabella. I wish there were something I could do to help.”
Help?
I know he can’t. He can’t help me the way I need because what I need is to escape this prison I’m living in. If he helps me do that it’s death. Just like the last man who tried to help me.
There is, however, one thing that Sacha can do. I need a break. I’m drowning and I need to breathe. If Dmitri is going to be here all weekend, then I need to prepare for it. I need freedom for a few hours.
“Sacha, please let me out. I just need some time.” I need to be by myself for a little while. “Just some time, please.”
His brows knit together. “We need to be more careful than ever Isabella,” he replies. “It’s not a good time for you to go out like that. It was fine when it was just me. The other guards would do as I tell them. We could keep things under wraps. Dmitri is a bastard. He’s just waiting for me to slip up.”
“Please, Sacha I need a break. I can’t stay in this house locked up, and I can’t be under Dmitri’s watchful eye at work either,” I beg shaking my head at him. “You know what awaits me in a few months when he’ll be with me all the time. He killed Eric and he will be my destruction too. You know this. You’re like a father to me. I know you can see I’m suffering.”
His gaze clings to mine and understanding brims within his eyes. Understanding and sorrow.
“Mne zhal', my dear girl,” he expresses his sorrow. “I’m so sorry so much has happened to you. Your mother must be turning in her grave.”