Chapter Thirty-Eight
Tristan
The paramedics came and took over from Massimo. We all stood on and watched as one agonizing second after another ticked by. With each passing second I saw Candace’s life slipping away.
Candace.
Candace the girl who means so much to us. Such a true friend she felt like family. Such a true friend there was never any doubt about trust when it came to her. She’s the kind of person who will always be true to you and always put herself last. She’s the heart of us. The person who keeps us from slipping away into the darkness of our world. She’s …
She can’t die.
Everything fades around me as I continue to watch the paramedic trying to save her. As he resorts to getting the defibrillator I know we’re in serious trouble. The severity of the situation has gone past hoping she’ll make it with the right people helping her. Those trained to save lives.
It’s gone past that. The time for miracles has arrived. The time for prayers and wishes, anything that will help. The last time I saw my brothers cry the way they are was when Ma was found dead in the river. We were all children. This is years later and if we lose Candace I don’t know how I’ll be able to deal with that type of loss.
I see the look on the paramedics face. His colleague is looking at him like he should stop, but I think he keeps going because of us.
All of us.
He looks to me, and I silently bid him to continue. Never stop until she comes back. Never stop until the life comes back to the girl we love so much. Never stop until he pulls her back from wherever she’s gone.
Turning his gaze away from me he gives her one blast, then another and … her heart starts beating.
It’s a faint beep but it’s there. I hear it. Beep… beep…beep, beep.
Her heart is beating! I release the breath I was holding on to.
I want to rush over to her and thank her for coming back, thank her for staying and not joining the ghosts of loved ones on the other side. However, the swiftness with which the paramedics next move tells me she’s not out of the woods yet.
“We have to get her to surgery now,” the paramedic says and they head out.
The next few hours go by in a blur because it happens so fast. Candace is taken to the hospital for surgery and we all go there and wait.
One hour goes then another follows and we wait.
The hospital waiting room is packed with those living on a prayer, hoping their loved ones pull through.
We’re all here but sitting apart, split like the wild cards life dealt us.
Dominic is in the far corner, Massimo is standing by the floor to ceiling glass windows gazing out to the night and I’m sitting with Isabella.
In the back of my mind I try to pin point when it was Dominic started to change. His grief over Pa made him slip. That was clear, but I think Andreas betrayal did something to us as brothers. it had to, and that explains everything since we’ve always been close.
I glance at his pale, grief stricken form sitting over in the corner and I find I can barely look at him. he looks like he’s climbed down from the high and he’s himself again, but fuck… fucking fuck, look at the shit that happened. He clearly didn’t know what the fuck he was doing if he was just shooting up the fucking house the way he was and waving the gun around the way he did when Candace tried to intervene. I know it was an accident. Having had that same gun pointed at me, I can say he would have been more likely to aim at me and shoot me than her, even in his state of drug induced craziness.
I can’t imagine how he must feel now.
Feeling the intensity of my stare he glances at me and shame makes him look away.
Yeah, fucking right.He’s right to do just that because accident or not, if he wasn’t my brother he’d be dead right now. I know Massimo feels the same way, and that’s why he’s keeping away from all of us. We came in here together and automatically split off when we were told we’d have to wait.
Soft fingers stroke over my palm. The motion so soft and stark against the roil of emotion raging inside me. I look down at my hand and see I’m holding Isabella’s. I don’t remember doing that. I’m holding her hand and squeezing. That’s why she’s stroking me. She knows I’m enraged.
My gaze climbs up to meet her tear stained eyes and she reaches out to touch my face. I go to her when she pulls me closer for a hug and allow myself to be comforted. I need it. I need this moment of respite. I need her.
I just need to have a break so I can find my footing. My mind needs to rest from the worry and her arms around me is helping.
As she holds me my mind drifts to the past. Far, far away to the past when I was a kid.