Me escaping wouldn’t be about betrayal.
This was all wrong from the beginning. I was taken and made to sign my life away to a man who wants to control me. I have to do what I have to do to get my life back.
The hard part is hardening my heart and making the first attempt to close off any feelings I have for Massimo D’Agostino.
And any love.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Emelia
It’s my wedding day…
The moment is finally here. The moment I’ve been counting down to.
I’m down to the last few minutes of being Emelia Balesteri.
A hush falls over the congregation in the cathedral as the organist starts playing Mendelssohn’s traditional Wedding March, heralding the start of the ceremony.
Everyone looks to me as I make my way up the aisle, by myself.
In the wedding I imagined when I was little, my father would be walking me up the aisle. I imagined flower girls and a page boy. I would have gotten married on the beach. Not that I have anything against being in a church. I just wanted the beach. Somewhere in Italy where it’s gorgeous. Since I imagined Mom at my wedding too, it fits that it would fall part of a dream and right up there with things that will never happen.
At the altar stands Father De Lucca, the priest who will be marrying us, and possibly the only real thing about this wedding. When he came to the house to go over the ceremony details, there was pride in his eyes for Massimo. The same type I’d seen displayed in most of the people who’d known Massimo as a boy.
At Father De Lucca’s left stands Massimo, with his father and brothers as his best men.
Massimo looks perfect in his tux. He looks like the prince in every story, the heartthrob of every movie. The lover in every story told. He looks like the dream, and once again, I can’t deny what I feel for him.
It’s just everything else that feels wrong.
I’ve feared this day for weeks, right from the word go. Right from that night I signed the contract in Dad’s office.
Darkness settled over me the minute I put on this dress earlier this morning. This beautiful wedding dress should have been worn by a bride who was ecstatic to get married. A bride who couldn’t wait to skip into her groom’s arms.
When I look at Massimo standing ahead at the altar, Dad’s warning plays out in my mind.
He will never love you…
That’s knowledge I already had and feared. Each step I take feels like pieces of me are dying slowly.
If I don’t escape, I don’t know what my life will be like from here onwards.
I imagine us growing apart when the wild sexual haze fades and we’ll just slip into a loveless marriage.
What I felt the other night was real, but I’ve come to accept that Massimo will eventually hurt me. Physical wounds can heal. Emotional wounds are another story. Those are harder to heal. I wouldn’t be doing myself any favors by encouraging these feelings I have for him.
I would be hurting myself if I truly fell for him
Such awful thoughts to have on my wedding day. Preparing my heart so it doesn’t love my husband. We haven’t even said our vows yet, and I’m already planning ways to break the simplest one.
Don’t fall for him.
Don’t love him.
I scan the pews looking over the guests who are dressed in their finest. They’re over a hundred people here. A mixture of family from my side and his. He has friends here and people who work for him. I have no friends. I already knew Jacob and his family wouldn’t be invited.
Who I’m looking for is my father.