I smile the first real smile of the day. “You can have them. I’m not hungry.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t want to be greedy or lie to Priscilla. You didn’t come down for dinner and you haven’t been around much all day.”
“I’ve just been wandering around,” I answer. I know I can’t really talk to her about what we spoke of on the beach days ago. Not in the house, anyway. I won’t be fool enough not to factor in that these walls definitely have ears.
She gives me a worried look and holds out the plate to me. Then joins me on the balcony.
“What’s going on in that head of yours, Emelia?” she asks in a hushed voice as she gives me a knowing look.
“All sorts of things,” I answer, lowering my voice too.
“What we spoke of the other day?”
“Yeah, there’s that.”
“I can’t really talk here…”
“I know.” I nod. “I know we can’t talk here.”
“Are you going to do it?”
“I want to. It would be stupid not to try. But I don’t know what could happen at the other end.”
“That is definitely something to worry about. He looks like he’s starting to trust you,” she points out. I sigh.
“Do you think so?”
“I do. However, if there’s any doubt in your mind, don’t do anything,” she cautions.
“I won’t. Besides”—I lower my voice and look down to the garden where I can see Manni lighting up a cigarette—“there’s always someone watching me. It’s going to be difficult to know when he’ll finally ease up.” Right now, it seems like something that might never happen.
“I would have come and seen you, but the few times I got a glimpse of you, you looked like you wanted to be by yourself.”
“No, it would have been okay to see me.” The thought to ask her about Massimo enters my mind. “Candace, where is he?”
She looks back at me, and her eyes twinkle. “Massimo could be anywhere. He’s like that. Here a lot, then not.”
“Where does he go? There was a woman here the other day called Gabriella. Is he with her?”
A smile tips the corners of her mouth, and she raises her brows. “Emelia, you’re worried about him being with Gabriella?”
My cheeks flush. I’m so silly. I must seem so obvious asking her something like that.
“I just wanted to know.”
“Okay… here’s what you need to know about Gabriella… nothing. She’s bad news. Stay out of her way. She would have definitely heard about the wedding, which is probably why she was here the other day. If you see her, don’t engage in any conversation.”
“But—”
“No, Emelia, trust me. Sometimes the less you know, the better. So, I’m going to tell you to focus on what you want most and take it from there. I don’t know if he’ll be home tonight, so don’t wait up. Please don’t ask me more than that.” She hops off the balcony and sets the plate down. “Call me if you need anything else to eat.”
As she saunters away, I get the feeling that she left because she doesn’t want to talk about Massimo or Gabriella anymore.
I release a sigh and set the cookie back on the plate. I can’t eat. My stomach is in knots.
Candace said to focus on what I want most and take it from there. My freedom should be the thing I want more than anything. But yesterday, my body wanted Massimo.
Yesterday, I wanted him. I haven’t stopped wanting him since.