“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She closes her eyes, her chest rising and falling with practiced breaths as if trying to keep the vomit at bay.
He watches her as he straps the arsenal of blades to his body. With his casual outfit and mussed hair, he reminds me less of the king I knew yesterday and more like the warrior who left camp in search of a nethertaur. Unfortunately, I fear neither is the version I face now.
“You’re being an asshole,” I whisper, working the countless fasteners and pins from my hair.
His attention snaps to me. “And how do you suggest I behave with a woman whose conspiracy against me has cost me my throne and put our lands in jeopardy of war? Should I bow down to her for getting us out of a predicament that she and this Ianca helped create?”
“There’s a lot we don’t know yet,” I remind him. “I just mean that unless you feel like carrying her to the horses, you should let her rest. She is three seconds from face-planting into the sand.”
“And if you believe she does not have a use for you beyond what she admits to, you are a fool.”
“I know she probably does.” I steal a glance to where Gesine sits perfectly still. I lower my voice. “But I need her. I need to understand who I am. What I am, what I can do. Given our current situation, don’t you think that would be helpful?” While Zander brooded earlier, I spent that time mesmerized by possibilities. In just days, I’ve fought an underworld beast and stopped a hundred flaming arrows, and I have no clue how.
His lips purse.
“She can give us answers that no one else can.”
“If she chooses to. Casters aren’t known to be forthcoming, as I think you’ve now seen. They speak in lies and half-truths that may as well be lies.”
Fair enough. “But she’s powerful, Zander. Look what she did out there.”
“She’s reckless. That wind could have killed countless innocent people had she unleashed it against the shoreline. And do not suggest for one second she didn’t intend to ignore my need for Eldred Wood and take us to Northmost.”
“Maybe. But I don’t think her reasons were evil. More like pragmatic.” I slide my fingers through the braids Corrin so carefully spun, quietly praying my lady maid is safe at the castle after being interrogated by Atticus. Though knowing that salty woman, she would have scolded him for daring to question her. “Gesine can protect us.”
His face turns grim with annoyance. “Relying on others to protect you will be the fastest way to get yourself killed. Put this on.” He thrusts a strap toward me. “And remember that everyone is an enemy now.”
I collect the leather piece. “Even you?”
He hesitates. “Those you least suspect.” Tearing a strip off the silk jacket he cast aside, he crouches to soak the material in water.
Is he referring to his brother? Because I suspected that snake’s ambitions weeks ago, only Zander wouldn’t listen to me. Or maybe it’s the captain of the king’s guard. “I can’t believe Boaz launched those arrows at us, even if he was aiming at me.”
“I can. Like I said before, Boaz is loyal to the crown, and clearly, he does not believe I should be wearing it any longer. He never approved of this marriage, or of allowing the Ybarisans to set foot in Islor.” Zander climbs to his feet. “Though I’m sure Lord Adley’s relentless whispers have not helped. Who knows how many minds that worm has poisoned.”
My anger surges at the mention of the vile nobleman’s name. “You should have had the Legion assassinate him. He deserves it.” Not even for the lies he’s spun into treason, but for all the crimes he allows in Kettling. Humans being bred and traded in the black market, sold as babies for feeding off their sweet blood, and likely a dozen other atrocities I don’t want to know about.
“Now you’re thinking like a queen,” Zander murmurs, his focus on my cheek. “A piece of debris must have hit you. Hold still.”
I wince at the sting of brine as he gently dabs the soaked cloth against my skin. “How bad is it?”
“You’ll live.” His eyes touch mine before shifting back to his task. “So, this is not really your face?”
“Not the one I remember, no. Same dark hair, but that’s it.” My irises were a brighter blue, my face rounder, my lips fuller. That woman I saw reflected within the apothecary’s mirror is striking, but she’s a stranger. And yet, if what Gesine said is true, that there is no going back for me, I had better get used to this new face because without my ring on, I’ll be looking at it for the foreseeable future—a reality that hasn’t sunk in yet.
He mumbles something I don’t catch before saying, “That must be quite unsettling.”
“Not much isn’t lately.”
Zander tosses the rag into the sinking skiff before giving it a hard push offshore. “Your wound will heal within the day on its own, but I’m sure Gesine can mend it for you if it does not. Assuming she has abilities similar to those of … other casters.” The muscles in his jaw tense.
He can’t bring himself to say Wendeline’s name. Will any justification ever dull the disloyalty he feels, caused by a woman he relied upon so heavily?
“Thank you.”
He grunts in answer. “How is that strap fitting?”
“I don’t know.” It’s long and cumbersome and likely sized for a man.