I cried during the wedding, but not for the same reason as Ellen’s mom and grandma did. They were losing a daughter. As for me, I’d lost faith in Calvin.
He hadn’t fought for Lego.
He wouldn’t fight for me. I’d always be the one that got left behind. The one that no one valued enough to commit to.
The bridesmaids looked lovely, if blurry through my tears. The vows were nice. Not that I heard any of them. If they’d been in Elvish, it wouldn’t have made any difference to my comprehension.
When it ended, we stood for the exiting couple, clapped, threw confetti after the reception, and then I went back to my hotel room and cried for Lego. Where was he now? I called the front desk and asked, but no one could tell me.
“Amanda?” Calvin’s knock came again and again. I didn’t open. I turned off my phone, too. Texts and calls weren’t going to help. Nothing he said could assuage my disappointment.
“Our flight is leaving soon.” His voice came through the door next morning. “Would you like help carrying your luggage down?”
I took it myself and even loaded it into the back of the rental. “You don’t have to put me on the Amzaz team, Calvin.”
“About that …” He sounded more miserable than the day before. “Like I said, I don’t get to make those decisions.”
Impending doom music cued up in my brain. “You heard from SolutionX.”
Calvin kept his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “They haven’t seen your creative work, Amanda.”
The excuse! Now, my tears rolled hot enough to leave burn streaks down my face. “I shouldn’t have expected anything from you. That was my first mistake.” I sniffled once. “You’re just an empty suit.”
There was nothing I wanted from him at our parting. In Tolkien’s words as delivered by Gladriel, lady of the woods, darkness would flow between us now. We will not meet again.
The ability to sleep soundly on a long flight had never seemed like a superpower. Until now.