If only he could see just how fucking special he is; how his life does matter. To me. To Brent. To Evans. To his family.
“You asked me why I fight.” Kayden’s head tips toward me. A small light flares amid the darkness that shades his eyes. “I fight for her. Clarissa. I fight for the life she never had. Taking down Jax is taking down a version of myself that got her and my parents killed. At least it would make their lives matter more.”
I nod thoughtfully. As twisted as it sounds, I get it.
After the shit that he’s been through, I understand the determination to make meaning out of something that is as debased and cruel as his family’s deaths.
Outside, the sun has fully risen in the sky, shading Kayden’s wounded face with the soft yet radiant glow of morning light. He stares at the sky for a moment, quiet and thoughtful, as he basks in the sounds of birds chirping and leaves crinkling against each other in the trees below our apartment. He wipes the remaining tears coating his cheeks and sniffs before turning his attention to me again.
“I know this is a lot to take in,” he says roughly. “I failed my parents. I failed my sister. I don’t deserve to be with you.”
I shake my head in disagreement. He still has no idea, does he? That nothing would ever make me choose to leave him. I’m in this too deep now.
“Kayden, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. I can’t imagine how it all felt,” I whisper, hands sliding over his shoulders to clutch them. “You’re a selfless and courageous person. I have always thought that about you, and while what you just told me is incredibly sad and tragic, it doesn’t disprove any of it. If anything, I’m more proud of you than I was before.”
He stares at me silently, looking unconvinced by my words.
“You’re not leaving?” He asks hesitantly.
Cradling his face, I lean forward, mouth finding his in a reassuring, tender kiss.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I murmur against his lips, conviction ringing in my tone. “And hopefully neither are you.”
The corner of his mouth inches up, and it’s enough for him to sling an arm around me and pull me toward his body.
We lie on the couch together, his arms cocooning mine, and remain like this as the time ticks by, searching for solace in each other’s pain.