No. Not like this.
The thought alone snaps me back to reality. I shouldn’t be allowed to want him like this. It’s too selfish.
Not when I’m still trying to get over Jax.
Kayden’s not a distraction. Nor would I ever want him to be.
And the last thing he deserves is to be treated like a rebound.
I let go of his hand and pull away from him. And he doesn’t stop me. I yank my knees together, hugging them, and Kayden edges away, running his shaky fingers through his hair. He doesn’t look at me. I know if he did, I would glimpse a swirling pool of pain.
“We should get more paint,” I suggest.
“Yeah,” Kayden says, his voice dry. “We should. After . . . after I get cleaned up.”
He looks like he wants to say more and I watch him expectantly, waiting for the next string of words to leave him. But instead, he clamps his mouth closed, hauls himself to his feet, and walks to his room, slamming the door shut after him.
I let out a defeated sound.
One step forward, ten steps back.