And one day, you’re gonna make the world tremble underneathyour goddammed feet.
I liked what Jax brought out in me. He taught me compromise was never an option, that I should embrace the darkest, twisted parts of me, even if no one else could understand them.
And I liked knowing that he was the only one who ever could.
“Jax was always kind to me,” I point out. “And he helped me work through a lot of stuff with my parents splitting up and my mom moving away,” I murmur, pushing the pasta in my bowl around with my fork. “I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him.”
Kayden shrugs. “That doesn’t sound like love, Sienna.
Sounds more like gratitude to me.”
I wince as he strikes me with his candid observation.
I don’t know why, but the words cut into my skin deeply, and my body tightens with offence, propelling me out of my chair.
“I’m done,” I snap, trudging to the kitchen.
Regret immediately seizes Kayden as he bolts out of his own chair and tails behind me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You don’t know anything, okay? Stop assuming what Jax and I had wasn’t real,” I mutter as I drop my bowl into the sink so hard that I’m pretty sure I crack it.
Kayden gulps, staring at me with fear. “I never outright said that.”
“Well, you implied it!”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” His tone is soft and apologetic as he tries to calm me down. “Of course what you had with Jax was real. Or else you wouldn’t be going to such great lengths to get back at him.” He inches closer to me, hesitating, before placing a soothing hand on my shoulder. I’m startled by the gesture but I don’t pull away. I don’t want to. His remorse spreads from his hand to my chest and all my anger toward him begins to dissipate. His hand trembles as it moves farther up my shoulder, and it’s like it’s itching to reach out to cup my cheek, but to my disappointment, he holds himself back.
Instead, he says, “I don’t know what I was saying, okay?
Maybe I’m just tired. I won’t assume those kinds of things about you anymore, I promise.”
His throat bobs as his body writhes with guilt, and I feel instant regret for going off on him like I did. I know it’s a harmless observation, and yet something about it rattled me deeply. But I can’t stay angry at him for long.
“Yeah.” I nod quietly. “All right.”
Relief floods Kayden’s face and he drops his hand from my body. I feel empty now that his touch is gone.
“Okay,” he whispers. “Let me help you clean up.”
We settle into sharing dish-washing duty in silence.
Every so often, Kayden glances over at me to make sure I’m okay. I’m not sure if I am.
A new heaviness settles across my chest. I shouldn’t have gotten that vulnerable with him. Who is he to assume what went on between me and Jax? He hates Jax’s guts, so of course there’d be bias in his observation. And as much as I despise Jax, I know I loved him. I wouldn’t have stayed by his side for that long if I didn’t. I wouldn’t burn with outrage at the mere thought of him.
And yet, despite it, it’s hard to keep Kayden’s words out of my head.
When we’re done cleaning everything up, I dry my hands with a kitchen towel and drag myself to my room. I’m too exhausted to think about this right now.
“Hey, Sienna?”
I turn back and lock eyes with Kayden.
He hesitates, mouth quivering, before blurting, “I’m sorry you’re hurting inside.”
I feel all the air leave my lungs. Shit, I definitely shouldn’t have let my guard slip tonight. And now he knows that what happened between me and Jax is still a raw, open wound.
I should feel uneasy about it. But I’m not mad that he knows. I get a feeling that he’ll be the last person in the world to ever judge me for what happened.
“Kayden—” I rasp.
“Good night, Lucky,” he murmurs, heading to his own room. He clutches the door hard, before offering a sad, gentle smile.
And then he shuts the door, leaving me utterly speechless.