“It’s okay,” I tell him. “Sure, it hurt at the time. I remember being sad, and asking when daddy was gonna come back. And my mom telling me I don’t have a daddy anymore. But I’m over it now. It was a long time ago.”
“No, Maya—” He bites off the end of the word, as if he realized he was talking too loud. “This is a big part of why you’re so self-effacing. Always feeling like you’re being overlooked.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Just look at you. You’re perfect. You would’ve been a joy for any parent. But your parents were too wrapped up in themselves and their own problems to realize it.”
I stare at him wordlessly. My heart is beating real fast, and I’m trembling all over.
“Come here, baby.” He sweeps me off the chair and into his arms, and holds me tenderly, rocking me.
He’s right. I’ve never wanted to admit these things to myself. I’ve spent my whole life pushing them away, because I knew if I ever acknowledged them, I’d fall apart. But now Forge has opened up that place in my heart, which I kept under lock and key, and I feel all raw and exposed.
“It really hurt,” I whimper. “First, my dad leaving me, and then my mom just never having any time for me.” I’m snuffling like a small animal, but I can’t stop myself. I burrow my head into Forge’s big chest and give into it. I’m scared he’ll laugh at me, or push me away, horrified that I’m acting like a baby. But he doesn’t. He just holds me and rocks me and makes these growly, soothing noises.
“You’re never going to be overlooked again, Maya. Do you hear me?” he says. “You’re number one, always.”
Number one? My breath catches. It’s the second time he’s said that.
I don’t trust myself to reply. This can’t be real. I must’ve conjured up this big gruff wolf man in my lonely dreams. If I say anything I might wake up and find I imagine the whole thing and I’m just sleeping in my car in a backstreet of Perdue Town.
I lift my head. I have to tell him the truth. “My mom made me promise not to take a shifter as a mate,” I blurt out. “She said they’d break my heart.”
His thick eyebrows tug together. “And you agreed?”
I nod. “Yup. I put my hand on hers and made an oath.”
I expect him to look mad, or wounded, but he just nods thoughtfully.
Then he sets me down gently on the floor.
I stumble a little.
“You’re all wrung out, aren’t you, honey?” There’s that tenderness in his voice again.
I nod dumbly.
“Let’s get you to bed.” He leads me to the bathroom, brings my toiletries bag so I can brush my teeth.
When I emerge a few minutes later, he gets up from his laptop and guides me over to the bed. He’s remade it neatly, the comforter folded back, and the pillows plumped up. “Have a good long sleep, and we’ll talk some more in the morning,” he tells me. “Relax, and know you’re safe here.”
“Where will you be?” I demand as he plants a kiss on my cheek.
“Just outside.”
“No—” I exclaim, hearing the distress in my own voice. After everything I’ve been through today, I don’t want to be apart from him. I need to have him near me. “Please sleep here, with me.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I won’t be able to sleep otherwise.”
He sighs heavily. “It’s not always so easy for me to control my wolf at night, Maya. Especially if we’re in bed together—” He falls silent for a while. Then he seems to come to a decision.
“Okay,” he says at last. He climbs into the other side of the bed. Somehow, he manages to position his huge bulk far enough away that there’s a couple of feet of space between us.
He flicks off the lamp on the nightstand, and darkness envelops us.
And somehow I’m even more aware of his proximity. The sound of his breathing. His intoxicating scent.
Now I’m wondering how I’ll be able to sleep with him beside me.