“I’m going for a run,” John said.
“Dinner is at seven thirty if you’re hungry,” Charlie said.
“I am if you made enough. Whatever you’re cooking smells awesome.”
“I made a ton. Never know who’s gonna show up for dinner around here.”
“Thanks. See you in a bit.”
When they were alone again, Sarah went up on tiptoes to kiss her husband. “You’re the absolute best, and I love you so much.”
He put his arms around her and kissed her again. “I love you even more.”
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“Such a good ‘problem’ to have, isn’t it?” she asked, gazing up at him. “Fighting over who loves who the most.”
Hugging her tightly, he said, “It’s the best problem I ever had.”
John poundedthe pavement on the road that looped around the outer perimeter of the island, thinking about the job possibility Charlie had mentioned. He was such a great dude that John sometimes feared he was too good to be true. But there was no sign of that. Rather, Charlie was exactly what he seemed—an honest, genuine guy who truly loved Sarah, as well as his daughter, Stephanie, and wanted the best for Sarah’s children and parents.
Lawrys were predisposed not to trust people, thanks to their upbringing, but John couldn’t find any reason not to trust the man his mother had married. He sure as hell made Sarah happier than she’d ever been. No one could deny that. Sometimes, John felt like he was just meeting the person his mother really was, having known only the stressed, anxious, miserable woman she’d been before she finally left the general.
She’d always been a wonderful mother under the worst of circumstances. Seeing her truly happy for the first time had been a revelation.
On the way out of the house, Charlie had told him he was making dinner if John was interested. If his own father had said that, it would’ve been a mandatory appearance, not that the general had cooked often. With Charlie, there was no such edict. It was there if John wanted it, with no obligation.
The job opportunity was intriguing, even if John wasn’t sure he wanted to live year-round on Gansett. Summers on the island were the best. He suspected winters were a whole other story. What would it be like to be marooned on the tiny island in the dead of winter? The year-rounders loved it. John wasn’t sure if he would. Having most of his family around would keep him from being lonely, so that was a plus. And the job sounded intriguing, although it’d probably be a nightmare during the season when he’d spend most of his time dealing with drunk and disorderly people.
Although, that was better than responding to domestic incidents, child abuse cases, murders, sexual assaults and other unpleasant things he’d encountered as a police officer in Tennessee. He’d lost that job after a romantic liaison with a superior officer had come to light, embarrassing them both. Despite all the progress that’d been made, the involvement of two male officers had been a scandal in their small town. John had been encouraged to resign rather than face disciplinary action for failing to disclose the relationship.
What he still didn’t understand was why he’d had to quit when the other guy was a sergeant and should’ve been the one to disclose it. He was still working for the department, going on with his life as if nothing had happened—albeit with his personal life now under scrutiny by his colleagues. John was the one whose life and career had been left in tatters.
Life wasn’t fair, but that was hardly news to a Lawry. They’d learned that lesson repeatedly growing up. In some ways, he’d been preconditioned to expect his life to be a shitshow. He’d been doing well before he’d made the mistake of getting involved with his boss. His career had been progressing nicely with regular commendations and the respect of his colleagues. Thank God he hadn’t pulled the trigger on the fixer-upper he’d almost bought in town right before things had blown up.
It’d been stupid to get involved with Gary. He’d known it at the time, but loneliness and a desire to finally live his truth had won out over common sense. They’d vowed to tell no one about their relationship and had gotten away with it for months before Gary must’ve told someone. John sure as hell hadn’t, even if Gary had accused him of blabbing. Knowing what was at stake, he hadn’t told a soul and had trusted that Gary would do the same.
As he jogged along the scenic road, his gut churned as he relived the horrible week after the relationship was outed and the whole town was talking about them. In a way, it had been a relief to walk away from it all, to come home to Gansett, to be free of the judgment that had followed him around the town he’d once thought of as home. He’d put his life on the line more than once to protect the people of that town, only to have many of them turn their backs on him once they’d discovered his big secret. Even colleagues he’d considered friends had let him down, treating him like he was radioactive.
His only “crime” was living his truth. Granted, he should’ve lived his truth with someone who wasn’t one of his supervisors, but why hadn’t Gary borne the brunt of that lapse? Why had he been the one to take the fall? He’d thought about talking to a lawyer about that question, but the idea of following through with that process exhausted him.
With the general now in prison, John had felt free to fully explore his sexuality. Being with Gary in his first real relationship had been amazing. Until it wasn’t. And now he was left heartbroken as well as unemployed. Did he really want to tear the scab off those wounds and air out the entire episode in court? Maybe the municipality would settle rather than allow it to go that far. If he didn’t bother, he’d have little to show financially for the eight years he’d spent in uniform other than a small percentage of his pension that he planned to invest once he received the payout.
The dilemma weighed on him in a way nothing else had since his father’s trial had dominated his thoughts. He hated being in that headspace and craved the mental and emotional freedom he’d experienced prior to the meltdown at work. After a lifetime of hiding who and what he was even from the people closest to him, was he ready to go fully public with the truth? Cindy had been shocked when he’d told her, but not in a bad way. Her reaction was proof that he’d done a good job of hiding himself from everyone.
His thoughts were all over the place when he jogged into the parking lot at the bluffs, planning to sit for a while and stare out at the ocean, as if the answers he needed might be found in the vast blue sea that crashed against the island’s northernmost point.
This place calmed him like nowhere else could, tied as it was to beautiful childhood memories. He loved being on the island and was tempted to snap up the job at the Wayfarer so he could stay indefinitely.
As he approached a bench that overlooked the ocean, he noticed another man sitting there and recognized him as Niall Fitzgerald, the singer from the Beachcomber. “Hey.” John wiped sweat from his face with the hem of his tank. Was it his imagination, or did he catch Niall checking him out as he dropped his shirt over his abdomen? “Is this seat taken?”
Niall slid over to make room for John on the bench. “Nope.”
John let his gaze wander over Niall’s long legs that were stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. “I didn’t realize you were a runner.”
“I didn’t realize you were.”