Cindy nodded. “I’m happy to listen if you want to talk.”
Jace checked the grill and then turned toward her. “I have these moments… when I think of my ex-wife and what I put her through. She’s the one person in my life I’ll never be able to make amends to, you know?”
“I’m sure that’s very difficult.”
“It’s nothing compared to what she went through raising two little kids on her own after her drug-addict husband got himself arrested and tossed in jail. But hey, that’s not your problem, and I don’t mean to dump it on you.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind. We all have stuff, you know?”
He gave her a side-eyed look. “You don’t have stuff.”
She snorted out a laugh. “Sure I do.”
“Tell me.” He put the chicken on the warm grill and glanced at her. “Only if you want to, that is.”
“My father was a violent, narcissistic asshole who tormented my mom and us until we were able to finally get free of him. He’s in prison now, convicted of beating up my mom.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “That definitely counts as stuff.”
“Like I said. We all have something.”
“I guess so.” He sat next to her and tipped his face into the late-afternoon sun. “Are you okay? Now, I mean?”
“I do all right, but every so often, something takes me right back to those years, such as wondering what he’d have to say about me living with a man I’m not married to.”
“That gave you a rough moment today?”
“That’s what I was talking to my sister about. Her exact words were ‘fuck him.’ I’m trying to take her advice.”
Smiling, he said, “I like how your sister thinks.”
“He did a number on all of us. We tend to stick together.”
“I’m glad you have each other.”
“I am, too. I don’t know what I’d do without them.” She looked over at him. “Do you have other siblings? Besides your late brother?”
“I have an older sister, Diana. She’s married with two kids. She did everything right, unlike her brothers. I was never close to her, but I was super close to Jess.”
“You must miss him.”
“I do. I think of him every day. I go back in my mind to where it all went wrong for us and think about how I might’ve changed the story.” He made a face that was a cross between a grimace and a grin. “It’s stupid to think I could’ve done anything to change things.”
“You were so young.”
“I was old enough to be married with two little kids at home when I followed my brother into that store. When I think about how different our lives could’ve been if we hadn’t gotten into drugs…”
“All we can do is live with it and move forward with the intention of breaking the cycle. In our case, we’re intensely focused on living peaceful, loving lives. That’s how we exact revenge on the man who raised us, by living completely differently than he did.”
“I’ve learned the same thing about the past through NA and AA. That’s one of the primary lessons that comes from both programs.”
“I’m glad you’ve found comfort there.”
“I have. Both programs saved my life. No question.” He glanced over at her. “Where have you found comfort?”
“Mostly in my mom and siblings and watching them forge new lives for themselves. Two of them are married, and a third is probably getting married soon. The other three are doing so much better than they were. My youngest brother also had drug issues, but thanks to the emergency intervention of my grandparents, he was able to kick the habit and get through college. It was tough for him being the last one at home without the rest of us to run interference for him.”
“I’m glad to hear he’s doing well. What’s his name?”