Chapter29
As she watched him walk away, Cindy wanted to scream from the sheer injustice of the situation and this coming only a couple of hours after he’d referred to today as one of the best days of his life. Anyone could see how much he loved those boys. He’d do anything for either of them. That someone could suggest that he might be a danger to them was preposterous.
She ached for him as she listened to him talking to the boys, getting them settled in bed and laughing at something one of them said.
This would break him.
Because she didn’t know what else to do, she got in bed and waited for him to join her. When he never showed up, she went looking for him and found him outside, sitting in a chair at the fire pit, looking up at a sky littered with stars.
“It’s chilly,” he said. “You should go in.”
“Don’t shut me out, Jace.”
“I told you. Everything I touch eventually turns to shit. You should take this as a sign and keep your distance before I wreck things for you somehow, too.”
For a second, Cindy debated what to do, and then she lowered herself to his lap and put her arms around him, kissing his neck and face. “I’m not going anywhere.”
His body remained rigid under her.
“You can’t push me away that easily, Jace. I care too much about you to let you go through this or anything else alone.”
“Don’t you see? This is my life as an ex-con on parole for the next five years. People are going to judge you the same way they judge me.”
“No one who matters is judging you. Look at the way my family welcomed you tonight, and they know your story. We all see a man who’s worked hard to turn his life around, who got a big new job today, who has two little boys who adore him—”
“And are being raised by other people because I was in prison when their mother died.”
“I see a man who is doing everything he can to make up for the mistakes he’s made in the past by trying to be the best person he can be for the people he cares about. And I feel very, very lucky to be one of those people.”
“This is how it goes for me,” he said, sounding almost desperate to get through to her. “You don’t need to be dragged down with me when you’ve worked so hard to overcome your own shit.”
“I do need you, and I want you, and I probably even love you.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Sorry, too late.” She put her hand on his face and compelled him to look at her. “Don’t let this one thing derail all the progress you’ve made in building a new life for yourself. Who cares what one random person you’ll never see again thinks of you?”
“It’s what she thinks of Seamus and Carolina that matters.”
“And they’re dealing with her concerns. I’m sorry that hurts you, but if it’s what’s best for the boys in this moment, then that’s what needs to happen. Seamus called you when Carolina got hurt, which means he trusts you. That’s what matters here—the people in your life trust you. I trust you. Seamus and Carolina trust you. The boys trust you. None of us care if you’re going to be on parole for the next five years.”
“You say that now, but what if people stop coming into the shop because you’re with me?”
“Who’s going to do that?”
He shrugged. “People in town who don’t want to associate with the girlfriend of an ex-con.”
“I don’t know anyone who falls into the category. Certainly none of my customers do.”
“That you know of.”
“I understand that this has stirred up some issues for you, but if I’m not worried about what people think of me, then you shouldn’t be either. If people don’t come into the shop because my boyfriend was in jail, then I can’t do anything about that.”
“It could hurt your business.”
“Every appointment I have is booked two to three weeks in advance. You’re looking for problems where there are none.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”