Maybe the numbness ached a little, but not how it was supposed to. It hurt how starving hurt, when there just wasn’t anything but bile and emptiness filling out your stomach. That’s how my entire body felt.
“Why,” I hummed to humor him. “You gettin’ clingy?”
The corner of my mouth tipped up as I forced a show for his sake. He deserved it. Demitri of all people deserved for me to pretend to be saner than I was.
“Oh yeah.” He matched my teasing grin and then some, winding his strong arms all the way around me. “If I could seal myself around you like a barnacle, I’d totally defy physics to do it.”
Sweet cinnamon and smoke permeated my lungs, sending firefly tingles to fill my head that I laid on his chest with a soft laugh. “Dork.”
He hugged me even harder, his lips pressing sweetly against my hair.
We stayed like that for a bit, basking in the early-morning burn of sun and the sensation of a hug.
Hugs were so simple, but what they could do was complex. A hug from the right person could feel like the clouds had descended from the sky and swept you up, softening your troubles in their arms.
Jonathan used to be my cloud.
Now he was up there floating around with them, and my troubles had grown vicious claws.
“Hey,” The soft rumble of Demitri’s voice had an unusual cadence as he brushed his lips through my hair. “I know this is strange, but if Alec or Becs text you for anything, let me know first. Becs has been acting even more paranoid than usual since she found out you were traveling with her ex, and shit’s just been feeling off around the manor lately. Something’s funky. Just don’t know what.”
The familiar comfort of his hard chest eased back as he peered down at me.
“Promise me you’ll text me?”
If I was breathing long enough for either of them to text me, “Sure.”
The backs of his clean-cut jaw clenched, and then he framed my face with both hands.
“Promise me I’ll see you soon?”
Emptiness parted my lips, wishing for words to fill my mouth that would make that desperate ache in his stare go away. It had completely soaked his umber eyes, making them heavier than I’d ever seen them before.
I should just tell him yes.
I should just lie to make him feel better.
Instead, I kissed him. Softly. Savoringly. To say thank you.
I didn’t give him a chance to deepen the kiss or keep me there any longer once I pulled back. His handsome face split like a heart taking an ax to the middle as I backed away. Touching the pads of my fingers to my lips, I sent him a kiss through the air and a deflated smile as I retreated towards James’ car.
He’d been sitting in there this entire time. Probably watching Demitri and I say goodbye.
I didn’t care if he’d been watching.
He could scream at me the entire car ride to wherever we were going next if he wanted. He didn’t have a right to, but he could and I wouldn’t care. The feeling of my flesh being sucked and starved down to my bones didn’t leave any room to care.
Maybe his impressive temper was what I wanted to fill myself up with.
Or his unique warmth.
Or his hurricane force rains.
James Reyes was a fucking feast for my soul; I just had to decide what depraved parts of his I wanted to pick from to feed mine.
Reaching the side of his car, the driver’s side window was already down. James was sitting inside, broad shoulders wound as tight as the scowl twisting his full mouth.
His soured honey eyes were aimed straight ahead, and if I had to guess, right on Demitri who was probably watching us right back.