I wanted to erase every single fucking ounce of grief on her beautiful face and pour pleasure over it. I wanted to control her pain until I owned it, and only I could make it vanish just like only I could make it appear.
I wanted to puppeteer her pain, and that’s why I said, “No. I don’t.”
She was too broken. Too young. Too potent. She was too everything I couldn’t have.
My rejection didn’t even show across Scarlett’s face. It was completely impassive and shamelessly attractive in the soft glow filling the room. All she let me see was her perpetual sadness that was impossible to miss now, or maybe she just didn’t care to hide it from me anymore.
Her gaze moved in slow, observing lines all over my bare chest, plump lips parted in an open and effortless pout before she finally spoke.
“I’m cold.”
I swallowed hard and was absolutely positive she was lying to me. How the fuck could she be cold when I was burning up in front of her? The energy between us was sticky hot and combustible, and so was I if she came any closer or spoke any softer.
“Then go back to your bed and get under the covers.”
I watched her mouth part as she breathed air into her lungs to fight me with, and I nearly fucking broke right there and covered her mouth with mine before she could get any of those stubborn words out.
She was close, so fucking close I could taste her need like I could taste the blood in the air.
Except her taste didn’t make me sick to my stomach, but it definitely made me sick in the head. I didn’t know what the hell it was she needed from me, but I wanted to give it to her no matter what it was. And that was sickening.
That was goddamn terrifying.
Once more, she shifted on the bed and dug herself under the same sheet I was. Soft legs ran down mine, and I stiffened as she laid her cheek on my shoulder. She had to have felt how I tensed, but she didn’t move back. In fact, she snuggled closer until her provoking lips were a wisp against my neck.
“Let’s pretend we’re in the woods again,” she breathed in my ear.
My head knocked back against the headboard with a biting exhale as I realized she wanted exactly what I was fighting tooth and nail with myself not to give into.
That night in the woods felt so fucking far away now.
Her request was simple. Hold her. Just hold her while she sleeps. Be a decent fucking man and hold the woman who told you how she was violated in every possible way as a child because she asked you to. No one had protected her then, and she just wanted to be protected now.
She wanted me to pretend like it was okay to hold her and sleep with her curled into my arms like she had that night in the woods, and I couldn’t.
I couldn’t pretend anything with this woman was okay.
“I can’t.”
A heavy pause hung between us.
“Then pretend that I need you,” she murmured against me.
Oh fucking hell.
My chest caved in, feeling like it was trying to fold in two and hold Scarlett between the pieces. She’d been stripped bare tonight, and her naked voice was proof of that. There was no pretending in her request.
If only because I was the only one here, Scarlett needed me.
And goddammit, I didn’t want to admit that I needed her too. Needed her untamable hair tickling the underneath of my neck as she slept. Needed to smell her sweet fire to know she was there. Needed to feel her buried into my chest, skin to skin, to know she was safe.
Even with how she was leaning against me now felt too good.
Scarlett Avery was one of those rare substances on Earth that felt so good, I was dead positive she had to be bad for you.
Scarlett didn’t give me any more room to argue or tell her no. My prolonged silence must have been enough of an answer because she nuzzled deeper in my sheets and made a place for herself against me.
I exhaled deeply, a rush swarming my chest with firecrackers as I slunk down and laid flat on the bed, pulling my arm from behind my head. I hesitated for only one sensical second before wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pretending not to notice the shiver that shook both of our bodies at the same time.