We don’t speak again as we drive through town. I don’t ask where we’re going, and he doesn’t tell me. My head starts feeling fuzzy again, and I rest my head on the window. As I close my eyes, my body shuts down, and I feel the world slip away.
I wake up moaning. My face is burning, but more specifically, my nose. I immediately reach for it, but a hand holds mine down. I open my eyes then and try to get away, my mind not quite caught up with the events of the day yet.
Liam’s face becomes clear through the haze and I relax again. He stares at me with sadness in his eyes, and it’s then I remember the reason for the burning in my nose and the fact that it probably looks disfigured as fuck right now. I grimace then silently scold myself; that’s not allowed with a broken nose.
I sit up in the bed and look at our surroundings. The room is a much nicer version of the motels we’ve been staying in. Out the window, I can see we’re much higher up than most of the city, and I wonder how far away from Anton we are.
The farther the better.
Liam hands me a sports drink with the cap off and I drink greedily, needing the hydration. I finish a few big gulps then force myself to stop; I’ve puked enough, and the last thing I want to do is vomit in front of Liam. I set it on the nightstand and look at him. He looks tired, worn out, and I’m guessing he hasn’t slept for as long as I’ve been away from him.
“How long was I gone?” I can’t even remember what day it could be at this point; time hasn’t mattered much, and when you’re locked in a cellar with no windows, there’s no telling how many days and nights pass. All I know is that my stomach and body need some serious attention. The last time I showered was too long ago, and the basic human need to be clean hits me fast.
He clears his throat. “Two days.” He stands and heads to the hotel phone. I hear him ordering some sort of room service and space out. Two days of my life missing…I guess it could be worse.
I could be dead.
I shrug to myself, and when I see Liam glance over, I shrug again. I’m losing my damn mind.
I sigh and lean back against the fancy upholstered headboard. Liam hangs the phone up and walks over, sitting on the edge of the bed, close to where I’m sitting but not close enough to be touching. His expression tells me something is wrong, but I don’t speak. I wait for him to process whatever it is he needs to tell me. After the last few days I’ve had, nothing would surprise me anymore.
“I’m so sorry, Mo.” Except that. His voice cracks on my name, and he rubs a hand over his face. I don’t reply, even though a defense of him is on the tip of my tongue. I don’t know what he wants me to say, but I’m sure it’s not that. “None of this should have happened to you.”
“How do you know?” I ask, surprising us both. I don’t even know why I said it, but then I continue to follow the train of thought that enters my head. “We don’t know what my life was supposed to be like. How do you know this isn’t exactly where I’m supposed to be?”
“You really think you were supposed to be chased by mobsters? Kidnapped and beaten by them? Nearly blown up?” His voice escalates by the end of his questioning. “You sure as hell weren’t supposed to end up attached to a guy like me.” He continues to rub his face, and the stress that lines his skin makes me feel bad, even though I know it shouldn’t after everything that’s happened.
I’m not sure what exactly he means by ‘attached’, but I don’t answer his questions, not directly. “I wouldn’t have said no to the date.”
“What do you mean?” He sounds exhausted. His body is hunched over, and he looks defeated.
“If I’d known what was going to happen, I wouldn’t have said no.”
Liam looks up then. “Are you kidding?”
“No,” I answer vehemently. “I’m not kidding. You don’t understand.” I breathe a deep breath and release it, gathering my thoughts on how to explain what I’ve been feeling ever since I shot someone for the first—and hopefully—last time. “Before our date, before I met you, my life was in limbo.” I raise my eyes and see his curious ones searching my own. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I was working a job I hated, I don’t have any friends anymore, and I have a shitty apartment. My life had no meaning.”
He scoots over and grab ahold of my hand. “Everyone’s life has meaning.” I’m surprised by the amount of compassion in his voice.
“Well, that may be and probably is true, but I didn’t feel like I was in the right spot.” I search his face and see some recognition in his gaze.
Finally, I see a smirk grace his lips. It’s the first smile I’ve seen since the spider-bathtub incident. It’s amazing how handsome this man is. “So, you think being chased by bad guys is the ‘right spot’?”
I hesitate to answer, not wanting to go overboard. “Maybe, but also, knowing you, I think, is the right spot.” I don’t know if what I’m saying makes any sense, but I say it anyway, hoping he’ll understand my meaning.
“Mo…” He trails off, pulling my hand so I’ll move closer to him. “I don’t want you to get hurt here.”
“I know you won’t hurt me,” I reply immediately. His eyes brim with a tenderness, a passion burns in them like no man has ever shown me. I’ve never been on the receiving end of a look like his.
“I can’t,” he admits, looking away, staring down at where our hands are intertwined as he sighs. “I can’t hurt you. Hurting you would hurt me.” Liam’s head shakes with genuine concern. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“I don’t either, but it’s not something you can plan for. Did I think the last week of my life was going to happen the way it did? No, I didn’t, but for some insane reason I can’t explain, it’s been the best week of my life.”
Liam looks up at me, a mixture of shock and amusement on his face, and a light chuckle escapes him. “You’re absolutely insane.”
I bring my finger to my chin and tap. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” I wait, biting my lip before I ask my next burning question. I take a deep breath. “How did you get us through all those people back there?”
He pauses, his entire body tense as he looks away again. “You don’t really want to know the answer to that question, Mo.”