‘So,’ he says, ‘the question is, what do we do?’
I’m sure you’ll tell me, she thinks.
‘I’m tempted to give the lot to charity,’ he says.
Gemma’s appalled. ‘That’s my money!’
‘Not really, Gemma,’ he says, crushingly. ‘D’you want me to explain why, again?’
‘Patrick, I really don’t think—’ Robin begins, but he holds a hand up, as if they’re underlings in his office.
‘I know you’re thinking you’re going to spend it all on shoes and iPods,’ he says.
Yes! she thinks. Yes! I’m fifteen, for God’s sake. Everyone I know has three times as many clothes as I do! And they can just buy a cappuccino if they feel like it and not juggle their budget to pay for it! It’s embarrassing, having to make excuses because I can’t do things my friends think is totally normal.
She twiddles her thumbs.
‘Well, that’s not happening,’ he says. ‘I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. I’ll cash the thing and start a savings account. And you can get access when you start university.’
Three years away. A lifetime. She’s only doing GCSEs this year. And what if she doesn’t go to uni? What then?
‘Can’t I have some?’ Her eyes well up. She can’t help it. She’s seen herself in that black velvet Zara dress, and it’s hard to just let go.
‘What for?’
Gemma gives up again. Presses her hands into her temples and says nothing. ‘Never mind,’ she says.
‘And don’t sulk. You should be glad we’re letting you keep it at all, frankly. Plenty of other parents wouldn’t, believe me.’
A big fat tear plops from the end of her nose onto the table. It’s not the money, she thinks. It’s the fact that I’m tired to death of you not loving me.
She knows they’ve both seen the tear, but neither of them comments. She gets that they’re cross now, but they never give her a hug even when they aren’t.
‘You never come here unless I’m in trouble,’ she says.
Patrick is silent for a moment. ‘Perhaps you should try not getting into trouble,’ he replies.
‘And then I’d never see you.’
His chair scrapes back. ‘Right, that’s enough,’ he says. ‘I’ll see you Friday week.’
He doesn’t kiss her goodbye.