“I see,” I replied flatly.
“Let’s wait to put it on. I’ll do your hair and makeup first. I think there’s a robe around here if you get cold,” she offered, and I nodded.
She sat me down in a chair and started to brush out my hair. She worked quickly and efficiently, as if she’d done something like this many times before. She styled my hair into a partial updo once she’d fully brushed and dried it before she started on my face. I closed my eyes when she told me to. I pursed my lips and opened them when she wanted. When she was through, she had me look in a mirror and I did what was expected and told her what a wonderful job she’d done.
When it was time to put on the wedding dress, I resigned myself to smelling like an ashtray for the foreseeable future. I tried not to gag as she pulled it off the hanger but failed when I stepped inside the massive lace skirt. She buttoned the back all the way up. The neckline went all the way up my throat and was a bit too tight.
The whole thing was rather ill-fitting. The sleeves were puffy at the shoulders and the hips were too loose around mine. My breasts were a bit too full for the dress and were flattened by the unbreathable material, but all that paled to how much stronger the cigar scent was now that the fabric was surrounding my body.
I hated everything about it. The lace was scratchy and uncomfortable. When I looked in the mirror, I loathed the way I looked because it wasn’t anything like the one I had worn for Grayson.
No. Now I supposed to walk for an infamous drug lord who would probably kill me as soon as I outlived my usefulness.
I felt like crying, but I didn’t want Esmerelda to have to fix my makeup after she’d done such a nice job.
“When Nemesio take you to his bed tonight, take your mind to another place. Don’t think about him. He won’t even make you look at him because he prefers taking a woman from behind, so that will make what I say next easier. Think about a lover, back to a time that you enjoyed yourself the most and lose yourself in that memory. He won’t last long. Probably less than five minutes, most likely less than three. It’ll be over before you know it,” she whispered shakily.
“Why do you know this?” I asked hesitantly.
“There was a stipulation in the agreement when I was brought here,” she began, and I stared back at her hazel eyes for a moment, seeing her pain radiate from within them. “Nemesio would fully forgive my family’s debts if he was able to enjoy my body whenever he wanted as well. He didn’t want me as a wife, which is why he gave me to Santiago.”
I licked my lips, horrified at her admission.
“I’m sorry,” I finally managed to say.
“It’s a life,” she replied.
I held my tongue from saying anything further. It wasn’t my place.
For a while longer, she fussed over me. She tried to pull in the dress in a few places to make it fit a little better, but there was so much fabric that it didn’t do much good. When there was a knock on the door, she sighed in frustration before she called out to whoever was there.
“One more moment!”
She pulled me close.
“Keep your head high, Zoe. I know you’re strong. You’ll make it through this,” she whispered hoarsely, and I smiled.
“Thank you for your kindness, Esmerelda. I won’t forget it,” I answered quickly before the door burst open.
It was her husband, Santiago.
“They are ready. I’m to escort the bride to where she needs to be,” he said curtly.
Esmerelda nodded silently. The way her body bowed toward him showed that she was subservient to him, or at least she’d accepted her life to be this way. She didn’t look at him with love or anything that remotely resembled it.
I didn’t know if I was capable of something like that, not after what I’d felt with Grayson.
I stared at the floor as I walked out of the room and followed Santiago. I didn’t really see the finely decorated interior of the villa. Everything passed by in a blur. The paintings morphed together in one long line, and I blinked quickly, knowing I was close to crying once again.
The heels Esmerelda had slipped on my feet clicked along the tiled floor with every step. My heart hammered in my chest, one numb beat after the next as each step brought me closer to the nightmare my life had become. Along the way, someone shoved a rose bouquet into my hands.
I wished I’d never woken up inside that trunk.
Santiago led me out the back door onto a cement path. We stopped so that another woman could unclip the train at the back of my dress. Another placed a tacky tiara atop my head.
It took everything in me to hold back my tears.
When we reached the gardens, I saw that there was a large group of people seated and waiting for us. Nemesio was wearing a fitted tuxedo and I swallowed hard as I was guided to the end of the aisle.