“We’re family. It’s what we do. I wish you luck in your challenge. That Lisa girl couldn’t boil water if she had to.” She laughs as Memphis collects her.
“Lots of water, man,” Memphis adds.
Well, great. Dinner better be early.
“London, each contestant made a different dish with a vegetable,” Carlton tells me. “You only have to take a bite.”
“I’m ready.” But I’m not ready to hurl something disgusting. I hope some of these contestants can cook.
“Up first is Lance with spaghetti and baked potato.” Carlton waves Lance forward.
“Hi, Lance.” I smile at the man. He’s cute in a nerdy way.
“Hi. I hope I did okay,” he whispers to me.
I take a bite of the spaghetti and it’s all right. Not chewy and it’s not overdone. The baked potato is a little too done, but edible.
“Well done.” I applaud him, and his cheeks tint a little pink.
“Lance, you’re safe,” Carlton tells him.
“Next up, Lisa.” Carlton waves her over.
“What did you make me?” I ask.
She tosses her lackluster brown hair over her shoulder and tries to smile at me seductively. It doesn’t work. Her brown eyes don’t sparkle like Snow’s. Lisa does nothing for me.
“Lisa has broccoli and beef,” Carlton says.
It looks okay but looks can be deceiving.
I take a bite of the broccoli, and it’s hard—like, not done at all. I wouldn’t even eat it in a salad.
When I bite into the beef, it’s still raw. What was she doing for two hours?
“It’s raw,” I tell Carlton.
“I swear I put it in the oven,” Lisa protests. She keeps staring at the oven like it wronged her in some way. The oven works—if you turn it on. I’m thinking she doesn’t know how to cook at all.
“Did you, sweetie?” The other man pipes in. “Or were you making googly faces with one of the crew members?”
“Shut up.” She flails her arms and shrieks. “How would you know?”
“Because he was talking to me about how he was all up in your panties,” he shoots back.
Hands on hips, she snarls, “You jealous?”
“Of you?” Ryan says with a sneer. “No, don’t need to be jealous of a walking STD.”
Lisa’s cheeks puff up like a blowfish. “I don’t—”
“All right, enough.” I interrupt Chicken Head One and Chicken Head Two.
Everyone stops and stares at me.
While I would love for this to continue because it’s entertaining, I need to move this along.
“Lance, Mary, you’re good for the evening.” Carlton scrubs his hand down his face, covering what I know to be a shit-eating grin. Then he continues after composing himself, “Ryan, Lisa. It seems like you aren’t here for love.”