“I’m unsure about the party tonight. I haven’t been around anyone but Shane, London, Axel, and Silas.” I pause, lifting my eyes to meet hers. “And now you.”
“If you’re not up to it, everyone will understand. This will take time, but you will start to feel better. This is your time. If you want to talk, we talk. If you don’t, we can sit here and drink wine.”
“Wine? I don’t think that’s standard practice,” I tease.
She winks. “Our secret.”
“Thank you.”
“We’ll get to the big things,” Ariel says, setting her notepad aside, “but I want you to feel comfortable talking to me.”
“I understand. And I made this decision to talk to you. I think it’ll help.”
“I think twice a week unless you need me before our next session. Does that sound good?”
“Yeah.” I have to admit, I do feel better after only scratching the surface of my story. I believe in time I’ll be on my way back to a “new normal.”
“All right. Well, there’s food in the kitchen with my name on it, although Shane doesn’t know that yet, and I know when the guys get here, it’ll go fast. So, let’s go help and sample.”
“That sounds more like I help, and you eat.”
“Truth,” she says, laughing.
“Thank you, Ariel. I really thought everyone hated me.”
“No one hates you,” she reassures me again as she rises to her feet. “I promise you that.”
“Okay.” We walk back to the kitchen just as Shane pulls some canapés out of the oven.
“Out of my way.” Ariel pushes past me and starts stuffing her face.
I can’t help but laugh and stare at her.
“What? I didn’t eat today.” Her mouth is full as she speaks. “Been busy with Stella and the ranch.”
Shane hands her a napkin with a chuckle.
“Good talk?” he asks me softly as I pick up a ladle to stir one of the soups on the stove.
“Yeah. Thank you for suggesting it,” I tell him. I truly am grateful for him and all that he’s done for me.
“I’m glad.” He kisses my head and moves to another oven to pull out cookies and other baked goods.
“Ariel, since you’re getting the food early, can you put together the lettuce cups?” Shane asks her.
“Yeah, sure thing.” She pops a cookie in her mouth and smiles.
“Do you guys not eat at your ranch?” I ask with a teasing smile.
The corner of her mouth curves upward into a half-smirk. “We do, just not as good as at yours.”
“Kiss-ass,” London says as he enters the kitchen and takes a seat at the table, grinning at me. He’s a beautiful man. And colorful. He has a realistic snake tattoo that wraps the span of his broad shoulders and thick neck, around to his hand. I wonder how far it goes down his body?
Quickly, I turn to hide the heat creeping up my face—it’s likely three shades of pink or red. I like him, even though I shouldn’t.
“Where is everyone?” Ever calls from the hallway before wobbling in.
“Where else would we be?” Shane kisses his daughter on the cheek, and the gesture warms my heart.
Timber and Dayton follow while the distinct voices of Memphis, Brick, and Lincoln can be heard in the backyard. Suddenly, my chest tightens, as if Ben is here squeezing the air out of me, as if I’m suffocating, and I’m about to panic.
“Congrats, Ever,” I tell her, grasping my throat and painting a smile on my face. I can’t let my nerves and anxiety rule me. Not anymore. I realize it’s all a work in progress—these things take time—but I want a future where I’m not fearful of being around people—especially those I know who’ll never harm me.
“Thanks. Good to see you,” she says, embracing me in a gentle hug.
“I’m not feeling well and don’t want to get you sick. Have a good party.” I rush up the stairs, and once in my room, I collapse to the floor in tears. I guess today is not that day.
Survivor, my ass. I’m so weak.