Caleb finally meets my eye, his expression equal parts confusion and shock.
“What?”
“I mean… just letting her live as she is? I know I haven’t exactly spent a lot of time with her, but that afternoon we spent at Yellow Fields… She seemed the most upset whenever we tried to remind her of things she should already know. And happiest when she—”
“—was living in a dream world?” Caleb interrupts. His brow furrows and gravy drips from his knife as he shakes it to make his point. “She spends half her life in a fantasy, Lizzie. It’s not real. It’s not healthy.”
“It’s real to her, though,” I point out. “And if a fantasy makes you happy where reality only hurts what’s so bad about—”
“—about upping sticks and moving to the mountains?”
Silence falls between us. Not even the clink of cutlery on plates. We’re both just staring at each other.
“Ouch,” I state.
Caleb at least has the chagrin to look sheepish.
“Sorry,” he eventually says, swallowing. “I didn’t mean to take a dig at you, I just…”
“You just…?” I prompt when he falls silent.
Looking awkward, he rolls his shoulders, cracks his neck, and finally sighs.
“I overheard you on the video call to your friends,” he admits. “About how I’m nothing more than your landlord. Unimportant.”
I’m struck dumb for a moment by the look on his face. There’s a tension in the cords of his neck, a stubborn set to his jaw. But his eyes are soft. Vulnerable.
It’s the first time I’ve seen him look like that.
“I… I didn’t mean it.”
“You sounded like you meant it.”
I could have laughed out loud at the irony of that.
“Only to you.” I assure him. “Anyone who’s known me longer can spot my lies from a hundred miles.” When this doesn’t seem to convince him, I’m forced to explain further. “Look, I only said those things because you said we were casual—”
“You said we were casual.”
“We both said,” I correct. “We both agreed that neither of us were getting involved on an emotional level or making anything close to a relationship out of this.” I wave my fork between the two of us. “And given that, I thought you’d appreciate a little discretion. Not me blabbing about our sex life to people you don’t know.”
Some of the stiffness seems to ease out of Caleb’s shoulders. His jaw unclenches, and he tilts his head like he’s conceding me a point.
“That makes sense,” he slowly admits.
“I thought compartmentalization was what we both wanted? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t.”
Bull. Silly, macho male.
“Fine, then I didn’t mean to dent your ego.” I adopt a nonchalant tone as I stand to refill my glass. I brush past him, glancing coyly over my shoulder. “But if you’d prefer to sleep alone tonight, I can always move back to my old bedroom?”
There’s an instant fire in Caleb’s eyes that has me shivering with excitement. A hand reaches out and my wrist is taken captive. I’m pulled back until I hit Caleb’s knees and fall into his lap.
His voice is a seductive growl against the skin of my neck.
“Don’t even think about it,” he warns.
I feel a kiss to the nape of my neck then another to the curve of my shoulder and I know we’re on an even keel once more.
But, even as my body lights up under his touch, I can’t shake a lingering cloud in the back of my mind. It feels like we’ve found a crack in our foundations somewhere. Invisible until I’d nearly tripped over it. Casual sex isn’t supposed to have emotional cracks. It isn’t supposed to have foundations.
So, just what exactly is going on between Caleb and me? And should it really continue if feelings are starting to creep in?