Caleb
Bythetimewe get to Gatlinburg, I’ve concluded that sex is a bastard of a thing. When Lizzie and I weren’t having it, I was distracted, cranky, and jacked up with an energy I couldn’t get rid of. I was taut as a live wire every minute I was near her. Now that we are having it, I’m relaxed in her company but pissed off around everyone else.
Now that we’ve crossed that line, I can kiss or touch her without moral turmoil, but I’m distinctly aware of the chances that others might want to do the same.
Like Jace.
The guy had been my friend for nearly fourteen years and when I’d seen the two of them coming out of the auto shop, his hand on the small of her back, I’d been ready to snap it off.
Apparently, no matter how clear we both are about the temporary, casual thing, sex is bringing along its friend Possessiveness. Who I can’t give the time of day to, because I have no right to demand exclusivity from a woman I’m not officially seeing.
So I’m left to chew on my molars and get white-knuckle friendly with my steering wheel or axe handle.
Yep. A total bastard of a thing, one way or the other.
I jolt out of my little anger bubble when the door to the cab is wrenched open. Lizzie hikes herself up into the seat, exhaling with a moan.
“Phew, sorry! That took longer than I thought. Apparently Sunday is the day for visiting the Gatlinburg drug store. Who knew?”
“Did you get everything you needed?”
When Lizzie had asked to stop by a drug store once we reached the city, I hadn’t argued. I’d learned long ago not to ask a woman what she needed in such places.
“Yeah, I think so,” she says, arranging a brown bag and bouquet of brightly colored flowers beside her feet. “Thanks for letting me stop.”
“No problem.” The roads had been clear most of the way here so we aren’t exactly late. Not that Ma will notice, anyway.
I use the rest of the journey to steel myself. Visiting my mom is always a toll on my patience as much as my heart, and a little silence on the way there seems to at least take the edge off.
Seeming to sense this, Lizzie remains quiet on her side of the cab. She only speaks again when I’m pulling up outside the Sunflower building of Yellow Fields Care Facility.
“I love that they plant the right flowers outside each place,” she says.
I glance about the parking lot, taking note of the different bushes and flowering shrubs.
“Yeah, this place was definitely the best I looked at when I needed to find somewhere for Mom. She loves nature and there’s a big garden out back of the building where residents can sit.”
“The people seem nice too. That nurse last time…”
“Yeah, they’re great. Honestly, I don’t think Ma would have lasted as long anywhere else. They’ve dealt with a lot.”
“So have you.”
Three words, spoken so quietly that they still my hand on the cab door. I look back at her, suspicion looming in the back of my mind.
“Exactly what ‘old times’ did you and Jace talk about?”
Lizzie blushes, looking all the world like a little girl caught in a white lie.
“Just a little about your brother,” she admits. “Jace said it wasn’t a secret, and I didn’t mean to pry into your personal business.”
I sigh.
“You weren’t.”
As much as it pains me to think about Matty or know that folks in town still talk about him in hushed tones or behind their cupped hands, Jace had spoken the truth. Everyone knows about my brother. About the storm. And about Ma. It’s not like Lizzie has exposed some private piece of me. Not when it’s already common knowledge.
“It’s fine,” I say, shaking myself out of it. “Like Jace says, everyone knows already. It’s no big deal.”