There was a lot more to the situation than that, including a couple of snitches and shit so big even David Sharp couldn’t escape entirely unscathed. The tremors of those events would rock this city long after the earthquake ended. The few years David Sharp served in prison were a minor inconvenience compared with what he did to the parties responsible when he got out.
My mind drifted out of the hospital room and to the darkest places I’d been, places he bred me to thrive. Visiting those places wouldn’t help Claire, and I pushed them out with the thought of her eyes wide and mischievous. Big and brown, like melted chocolate with such warmth and sweetness. A thick fringe of curled lashes surrounding them, fanning over her cheeks. That girl made everything better.
I forced my eyes open, needing to see her. One time, I told Claire how guilty the things I did as a young moron under my father’s heel made me feel. I didn’t lie to her about the regret plaguing my every move and driving me to build a better life. All of that was true, and at times, I pretended I succeeded, that I atoned for my sins in some way. What a fantasy that was! I would never forgive myself for a single drop of innocent blood I spilled. When I left this world and sat at the devil’s table, he would smile at me.‘You did good, my son.’
The truth I kept from her was thatI relished the power and the pain. I enjoyed hurting people, and no amount of atonement or distance would wash that filth off of my soul. I never tried to lay down roots before, knowing a sickness crept along beside me like a second shadow, made of something so dark it would steal the light of anything foolish enough to touch it.
Then I met Claire, and all I saw or dreamt of were roots and family. The blazing radiance coming off her shined so brightly, I only dimmed her by a fraction with my nearness. Those roots I wanted to lay with her seemed so possible, but they twisted through broken glass and crumbled tombstones. Pain and revenge marred every step we took.
After all the heinous things I did, of course, the straight and narrow life I built would eventually come crashing down. Charles Gains cropping up first to take everything from me was a cosmic joke. I would have laughed if anything filled me other than pure venom and bile. My days as Mason Dubois were always numbered, but I never would have guessed this is what they ticked down to.
My father never made a secret of how he crept over my shoulder, waiting for a moment of weakness to strike and bring me back into the fold. He didn’t mind me becoming a lawyer. The knowledge and public station could only help his pursuits. He would win either way, by taking my life or ruining it, but I never imagined Mason Dubois would end at the hands of a serial killer with an old grudge and a flash of uncontrollable rage.
This one was not entirely on me, although I could have handled things better. From what my men discovered, Charles stalked her and planned to hurt her before we went on our first date. He had a job at the office she got fired from under a fake name, all to find young women to murder. He didn’t discover us until he watched me bring her home, and yet serendipity needed to fuck me in the ass and make that my fault as well.I have a thing for breaking your toys,he said. The muscles in my jaw strained so hard it was a miracle my teeth didn’t break.
Poor Rebecca.I dropped my head into my hands, thinking of the many ways she suffered in the end. Asking my old acquaintances for simple favors was worth the risk in order to keep Claire safe, more than a reasonable price to pay to avoid history repeating itself. Asking people to check into old feuds and squabbles wouldn’t force me into a situation I couldn’t escape.Put an ear to the ground. See who’s trying to come after me.That was fine. I would have handled it. Until I made a catastrophic mess of Charles’ remains and he needed to disappear.
Claire wouldn’t like what the situation demanded now, but she would stick by me all the same. This thing between us was too powerful to be ignored, and I imbedded myself as deeply in her as she did in me.
The doctor popped into the doorway with a hulking security guard at his side.Well, fuck.I was going to need to hurt someone. At that moment, Claire’s hand twitched, and she made a little sound of pain. The doctor flew to her, forgetting my presence. “Wh-, where am I?” she croaked.
It took every bit of self-control I had to stay seated and let the doctor do his job, checking her bandaging and vitals. “You’re at North Central Hospital, Ms. Green. Do you remember what happened?”
“I, uh, no. I don’t think so…” she muttered, her pretty eyes searching the room, resting when they found me. I let out a ragged breath at the sight. I worried I would never bathe in the light of her glances again. She lied. Claire was an open book, at least for me. The haunted look in her eye meant she remembered everything, or most of it anyway.
The doctor checked her over, poking and prodding. She made little noises of pain, and I nearly vomited. I killed people, tortured them, and the slightest ache from her was enough to turn my stomach. “Everything looks good,” he told her with a small, satisfied smile. Then he turned to leave, nodding to the security guard. “Escort him out, please.”
“What? No! Please, you can’t make him go!” Claire wailed, gasping in shock and pain when the exertion pressed on her injured organs, not realizing how torn apart she was.
“Ms. Green, please calm down. Visiting hours are over.” He put his hands up, trying to placate her.
“Please, please, I need him to stay.” Miserable tears fell down her cheeks as she whimpered the words, barely possessing the energy to push them out.
With an annoyed and tired sigh, he muttered. “Tonight, only. Do not expect me to make another exception.” She nodded frantically to him, willing to accept whatever he said. I would be all too happy to kill the prick myself, but again, he saved her.
Once they left, I walked to her side, leaning down and kissing along her hairline. I saved her lips for last, touching mine gently to hers. “Do you remember what happened?”
“Everything.” She confirmed with a slightly drugged slur to her speech.
“I love you too.” The words raced out of me as I traced my forefinger over her jaw. I tried to tell her back in her apartment, but she lost consciousness too quickly. It nearly killed me to think she would die without me telling her I loved her and I couldn’t stand another minute of her not knowing. I kept my feelings for her in for so long, not wanting to scare her off or chase her away.
“You don’t have to. Just because I almost died, doesn’t mean...”
I put the same finger over her lips. “Claire, I love you. I have loved you since we sat in that park and I told you about my mom. You areitfor me, and if you think for onefuckingminute I would tell you I love you because I feel bad or some other self-hating bullshit, then you don’t know me at all.”
Her pale cheeks flooded with color, and guilt swamped me.Fuck, she just woke up. I need to calm down.I reminded myself.
“I love you too...” she answered, but she wouldn’t look at me. Tears slid from her undamaged eye. “You weren’t the one on the phone, were you?”
“What are you talking about, Claire?” Something thick and black tightened in my stomach, reminding me of fear, but after I watched her nearly bleed out in front of me, nothing scared me anymore, except losing her.
“I overheard Gavin talking to someone. I thought, well, I thought it was you. That’s why I went home. I thought you were my stalker. I am so unbelievably sorry.” Tears streamed down her face. “I ruined everything.”
It took me a moment to respond. It felt like she kicked me in the stomach. Typical Claire, blaming herself for shit wildly out of her control.
“Baby, what did he say to make you so upset, and why did you think it was me?” I got to her in time by sheer chance. Lawrence called her to ask if she would go to lunch soon, and when she didn’t answer, he called me straight away.
“He said, Mr. Sharp.” I barely heard her through the tears, but after a lot of coaxing and calming, she told me everything. The murderous rage in my gut threatened to spill over.