Chapter Three
Ifinishedgettingreadyfor work early the next morning. The excitement of looking over the many responses to my ad had me giddy and restless, ready to conquer the day. I sipped my coffee absentmindedly as I scanned through some emails that came in overnight.
I choked on my drink as I read the subject line “Whores Burn in Hell” I hurried over the contents of the email, laughing aloud in shock at his vehemence. I didn’t know if whores burned in hell or not, but whoever this random internet crusader was, he didn’t seem privy to the inner workings of the universe. Before I let the words upset me, I moved to another. “A bit older than you asked for.” I clicked it open with a shrug. I could do a fit fifty.
I choked on my coffee yet again as I took in a smiling picture of a man in his eighties with a message attached.
Don’t be fooled, an old bull can be better than a young buck. I would love to show you a wonderful time and take you places you’ve never been. How about Ibiza?
-Stanley
Well, Stanley, I might accept your offer.I thought to myself as I picked through another few that were nothing but more cock shots. The variety mystified me. I was no virgin, but I’d never seen so many penises in rapid succession outside of porn. Porn stars obviously all fit some criteria because theirs were much more similar to each other than these. Big, small, crooked. There were enough of them that I started seeing penises whenever I closed my eyes. I briefly considered a career as a dick critic.
Aside from the many genitals, there were a lot more genuine responses than I expected; people who commented on aspects of the ad and offered things about themselves in return. A little twinge of guilt passed through me every time I read one of them. Despite their authenticity, they sparked nothing in me much less desire.
I shared communion with these lonely, horny souls, but I knew I couldn’t be the person who assuaged those feelings. I closed a particularly sad email from a widower. He had young kids, and he had not been with anyone since his wife passed. He hoped we could help each other out as he wasn’t ready for a more meaningful relationship. Tears filled my eyes but didn’t fall as I rode the bus. I wished I could, but that level of pain was more than I could take on.
I arrived at work stuck in my head. I paid little attention to where I went and bumped into Tyler a foot away from my desk. My hands instinctively shot out in front of me, landing on his chest. For a moment, his well-muscled pecs distracted me.
I looked up, stunned, as he wrapped his arms around my back to steady me. I may have accidentally started this, but it felt far too intimate. “Good morning, Claire, funny running into you here,” he laughed.Was he waiting here for me?I shook my head.Of course not.I pushed off of his chest lightly, trying to escape without being insulting.
“Good morning, Tyler,” I stepped around him and sat in my chair. “I should start working.”
“Absolutely,” he agreed with a secretive smile. Leaning forward, he plucked a mug off my desk. It was the same one he offered me on my first day, and I used it a few times since then. “Did you take this out of my office?” There was a teasing note in his voice, but I didn’t get the joke.
“No, it was in the break room,” I answered at a much lower volume, conscious of the people around turning to look at me.
“Of course.” He muttered with a touch of sarcasm as he walked off. Several of my coworkers watched with their own smiles. I dug my nose into my work and did my best to ignore them.
When it came time for lunch, a few of the older women were getting ready to have a meeting of their fiber arts group. A few of them knit and a few crocheted and twice a month they would take a long break and do it together. “Would it be okay if I joined you?” I forced myself to speak up.
Barbara S. eyed me doubtfully. “Do you knit or crochet, dear?”
“No, but I’ve always wanted to learn.” I gave her a smile and a little shrug.
“I have an extra hook and some yarn,” a woman whose name I didn’t remember offered.
“I would appreciate it.” They all nodded to one another, waved me on, and took me to a conference room in the back. We sat around the table as they chatted about office gossip, their grandkids, and showed me how to hold the yarn and use the little hook. It wasn’t going well as far as me learning the craft, but it was pleasant to sit with them and be sociable. They warmed up to me a bit and that could only make my time spent with them more enjoyable.
“So, Claire...” Barbara S, the de facto leader, began, “I see you and Tyler have been talking a lot.”
“Oh, yeah, I guess. Here at work anyway.” I tried to focus on catching the yarn with the little hook and getting it through the hole.
“You seem like you want it to be more.” I glanced up at her then, trying to read her expression. She didn’t appear to have malicious intentions.
“Well, he’s nice but I haven’t thought about it.” I hoped that would be enough to move the conversation to another topic.
“Really? You looked awfully smitten whenyoubumped into him this morning.” I didn’t want to embarrass him or cause problems, so I wasn’t sure how to respond.
Finally, the other Barbara put me out of my misery. “Leave her alone, Barb. How is Sophia doing in dance class?” That was all she needed to forget all about me and I shot the other woman a grateful smile. I hadn’t fully discounted the idea of dating Tyler, but I wasn’t pursuing him or seeking his attention. If anything, he seemed interested in me.
Later that night, I sat in front of my computer reading and smiling,smiling. I couldn’t remember the last time I did it on my own, with no one watching, without trying to act normal. I didn’t agree with the practice of sending pictures of your genitals to people who didn’t ask for them, but I thoroughly enjoyed the task.
I resigned myself to the fact that this was only an experiment. None of these guys did anything for me other than give me a great way to spend my time. I believed that until I read the next subject line, “If you were brave...” I clicked it open with an odd sense of anticipation thrumming through me.
And this was a bar. What drink should I buy you?
-Able to do any job right