The quote was from Catcher in the Rye. The book meant a lot to me. I defended it when people suggested it was darker than it actually was. At that moment, I was sure I would never pick it up again. There was no signature, and the return address was a collection of jumbled numbers and letters like it came from a proxy server.
Aproxy server, random meetups. With a resounding click, everything fell into place. My heart dropped as the trickle of fear I nursed for weeks developed into full-blown terror. All of those noteswerefor me because of that stupid ad I placed. All those times I felt eyes creeping over my skin were becauseIput myself out there and asked for something I didn’t actually want.
Showing those notes to Gavin was a huge mistake. What if the ad came to light and he decided to get rid of me? It would be all too easy to decide I was more trouble than I was worth, and if he did, who would hire me? There were so many ways this stranger could ruin me.
He was the man at the coffee shop, waiting forme,not someone else. My heart pounded recklessly against my ribs. My breath squeezed from my lungs until I saw stars. How did he find me? The whole thing was randomized. The physical description I gave wouldn’t be enough to pick me out of a lineup. I went to the website I used, opened the ad, and read it over.
There was plenty that might spark the interest of an unwanted stranger, but as I thought, nothing particularly identifiable. How many sexy brunettes lived in this damn city anyway? I scanned through the multitude of responses. The only ones that threw up alarm bells were the emails calling me a whore and telling me I would burn in hell. Was it one of them?
Somehow, I didn’t think that was the case. There was nothing in those self-righteous ravings to make me think their senders wanted me and this new email was rife with jealousy and violent implications. The thought that they listened to me screaming for Mason made my blood run cold. I reread the emails that were overly personal and flowery. None of them triggered anything but sadness and my fear continued to grow.
I thought briefly about calling the police, but I knew there wasn’t enough here to do anything about. They might feel bad for me, but they wouldn’t waste city resources on this. Plus, that would ensure Gavin finding out and firing me.
I concentrated on the screen in front of me so hard that I didn’t hear the door opening. I practically jumped out of my skin and let out a little yelp when Emma popped her head in. “Jesus, Claire, are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you. I knocked, but I don’t think you heard me.” She nervously toyed with her hair.
“No, I didn’t. I’m okay, come on in.” She closed the door softly behind her. I had a few volunteers out on the floor today, including Sean who I met on my first day here. I would never be close to him like Emma, but he was more trustworthy than I imagined. The library would be fine without us for a little while.
She sat down in the chair opposite me, looking bright and beautiful compared to its previous occupant. Her sunny disposition was at extreme odds with the storming turmoil in my stomach. “Are you sure you’re okay? Did something happen with Gavin?” Her soft voice filled with concern, but her hands twitched in anticipation.
Annoyance trickled through me. Some creep was stalking me, and she was worried about getting a job. I closed my eyes for a moment, beating the ugliness back. She didn’t know those notes were aimed at me, or that I was asking his permission to hire her. As far as she knew, I was mulling over the decision.
“No, nothing bad happened with Gavin. We briefly discussed the board meeting and I told him about the notes.” I forced a smile onto my face. “He said to keep an eye open, but he’s not overly concerned.”
She nodded her head, not entirely convinced. “Okay, well, there hasn’t been anything since. So, maybe it was just a prank,”
“No, nothing else.” I agreed with a sharp twist in my gut. “I do have good news though; I am giving you the paid position.”
She jumped out of the chair, hopping up and down in excitement. “Oh my god, Claire. That is amazing! Thank you so much!” She stopped her jumping, realizing I still looked like I saw a ghost. “Do you not want to give me the job?” she hedged, “I mean, I know we talked about it, but I understand if you changed your mind...”
“Not at all,” I interrupted her. “I’m more than happy to give it to you. I just have some personal stuff going on.”
She walked around the desk and placed her hand gently on my shoulder. “You’re my boss, but we’re friends too. I want you to know you can talk to me. Actually, I’m going out for drinks tonight to celebrate and you have to come. Drag that stud along, unless he’s the reason you’re upset. Then we can talk shit about him and dance all night.”
I rolled my eyes at that, but it comforted me she would have my back, at least with relationship squabbles. “I’m not sure this is a great time.” Rifling through some papers on my desk, I tried to seem busy and disinterested enough to deter her.
“It’s the perfect time. I got a new job and you, my friend, work too hard. Please?” She pouted at me with her pretty lips and blue eyes.
“It’s Monday, Emma. We both have to work tomorrow.”
“Oh, come on, Claire! You’re not that old yet. You can handle a late night of drinking and dancing.”
“Fine, I’ll go.” I gave her a tight smile, and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I was such a pushover, but the idea of having a little fun appealed to me.
“You’re the best, and bring the guy too. He looks like the super-serious type. You could both use some loosening up.” She giggled to herself.
“We’ll see, Emma. Get back to work.”
“Thanks again, Claire,” she told me happily as she bounced out of my office and back to the returns.
I texted Mason, ignoring the contents of his earlier message, and invited him to come out with us. To my surprise, he quickly agreed without pressing me to accept his apology or demanding a reason for my silence. The rest of the day passed as normally as possible, given the situation. I jumped every time a person walked near me, or a door closed, but otherwise things were okay.
“I can’t wait to take you out tonight. This club is incredible. I can’t believe you’ve never been. It won’t be packed either, which will be great for you since you’re skittish with crowds.”
I shot her a dirty look. “I amnotskittish with crowds.”
“Oh please,” she waved a dismissive hand at me, “I see how you get when there are more than twenty people in here. You need to get drunk and chill out.”
My eyes shot around the library, in search of possibly dark-haired stalkers. Leyla really didn’t offer a good description so there were a lot of potential prowlers. “I’ll have a drink, but I make no promises. I’m not the getting drunk type.” The empty bottles that often littered my childhood homes, and the screwdrivers my mom drank for breakfast when she couldn’t bother to scramble an egg for me, weremysecret.It works better than the pills.I barely spoke to her and yet her voice was clear as day anytime it drifted back to me.