He turns, looks to where my mirror used to be and even without knowing, I’m sure he’s smart enough to put the pieces together. Especially since bits of the shattered mirror are still stuck to the wall.
“Open your eyes, Megan. It’s time to grab the rope,” he so strangely says before turning and walking through the door.
As I watch his wide shoulders walk through my bedroom I let his words sink in. He’s right. I know it. He knows it. The only problem is, I’m not sure I know how to clear a path to the road he wants me to travel on.
He’s right. I feel guilt. Probably not for the reasons he suspects, but it’s guilt nonetheless. I had a man who gave up everything for me. Hopes, dreams, a career, and eventually his life. A man who gave up everything so that I could escape a nightmare I was living. A best friend who turned into a husband of safety and then eventually one of friendly love. I was content with that, and I know Jack was too.
The part I struggle with the most is the feelings Liam brings into my cold, painful life. They are so much more powerful than what I ever felt for the husband that saved me. The battle I feel within is that Liam, with all his annoying determination, is showing me a promise of something that I know deep down, if I were to lose it, would take me to my knees with a pain I know I could never shake free of.
That . . . that is a terrifying feeling.
But one that I know I need to be brave enough to take that step toward and that hand he’s been offering me.
I GIVE MOLLY A HUG and ignore the pain her begging me to stay causes. That little girl could shake me to my core with just one little pout.
“Stay until she comes out?” I ask Nate.
“Yup. I’ve got a date with the prettiest girl in the world. ” He looks down at Molly and she smiles huge. Her brown eyes crinkle at the corner and her crooked grin shining bright. “Isn’t that right, Molly-Wolly?”
She giggles and I hate that it isn’t me she’s giving that look to. Fuck me, I’m in deep here.
“Next date’s mine, little lady,” I tell her and she nods her head, her curls bouncing around her face.
I turn and right when I make it to the door I hear her yell my name, her little voice ringing out and echoing against the walls. I turn just in time to catch her small body before it comes crashing into my legs, reaching down I pull her up and her small arms wrap around my neck.
“I’ll miss you, Leelee,” she whispers.
I hold her tight and when I look up, I see Megan standing in the hallway with her hand pressed against her chest and her eyes wide.
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“I’ll miss you too, little lady, so much. ”
My eyes never leave Megan’s. Her pained face the last thing I see before I drop Molly softly to her feet, ruffle her curls and turn to leave them behind. Ignoring every instinct I have to charge in there and demand Megan see what I see.
That together, if she would just grab that damn rope I’m struggling to hold on to and climb, that we—us and Molly—would have everything.
It isn’t until I pull my truck into my parent’s driveway that I realize it wasn’t just pain in her gaze right before I left her house. If I’m not mistaken . . . there was also hope.
I climb down from the cab and make my way up the walk to the front door, my thoughts running a million miles a minute. If I’m right, if that was hope, then maybe—fucking maybe—I’ve finally started to break through the wall that’s been separating us.
“Whoa, baby boy!”
Pushing my thoughts aside, I look up and smile at my mom. Her dark hair streaked with gray, her brown eyes holding strong laugh lines, but right now looking at me and seeing right through the smile I’ve plastered on my face.
“Do you need your mom or your dad right now, honey?”
I reach out, pull her into my arms and give her a tight hug. Her arms come up and hold me close.
As my hug pulls her off her feet, she laughs. “My guess is my boy needs me. ” She guesses correctly.
“A little of both, Mom. Definitely a little of both. ”
After I place her back down on her heels, she reaches up and pats my cheek. I look down and give her a weak smile.
“Well, come on. Let’s not let any flies in the house. Your dad is out back mowing the lawn. Let’s me and you have a chat before he comes and hogs all your attention. ”
I follow her in, going straight to the kitchen and pulling one of the chairs from the table before dropping down.
“Water, coke or beer?” she asks from the open fridge door.
“Vodka?”
“Ah, I figured this chat would be coming sooner or later. ”
I look at her, questions clear in my eyes because she just smiles. She doesn’t speak as she bends to the cabinet that holds the strong liquor. I watch—and wait—as she fixes my drink before rounding the island and joining me at the table.
“It’s Megan, right?”
I narrow my eyes and take a healthy pull, enjoying the way the burn feels down my throat.
“Should I ask how you know this?”
“You could, but I won’t give away my secrets. One day, when you’re in my shoes you’ll understand me when I tell you that a mother always knows. ”
I shake my head and look down into the glass. Not really seeing anything except the way that Megan looked when I walked out of her door.
“I have no idea if I’m doing this right,” I tell her honestly.
“Oh, baby,” she starts. “There isn’t a right or wrong way to do anything when it comes to what the heart wants. Everyone has to learn that the hard way. Your father and I had to, just like everyone else. ”
I look up at her words and I feel my brows pull in.
“Don’t look at me like that. ” She reaches up and pushes against the skin between my eyes until I relax my gaze. “I talked to Izzy the other night, that’s your freebie. ” She winks, letting me in on her secret to knowing why I’m here before I could tell her. “Dani fills her in often on how Megan is doing. I don’t think it’s lost on you that Izzy and Axel have a soft spot for Megan and Molly. They call them their M&M’s,” she smiles.
M&M’s, I smile. So fitting.
“Every step of the way, baby boy. What I haven’t seen for myself, is when you two are in a room together, I’ve heard bits and pieces through Izzy—who got them from Dani. ”
I look back down to my glass. Damn Dani and her big mouth.
“You know your father had his hands full when he met me,” she says and I look back up, meeting her sad eyes.
What is this?
“I didn’t make it easy, honey. I could kick myself now for all the trouble I was in the beginning. Really made him work for it and all because I was scared. I don’t know what’s holding her back, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to guess. Fear is a powerful thing, but honey she’s also got a lot of loss on her shoulders. All I can tell you is that you’re one hundred and fifty percent your father’s son and I have no doubt in my mind that you feeling this way, means you know what you want. Nothing and I mean nothing, honey, stands in the way of a Beckett man when he’s found that. ”
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I laugh, the sound coming out flat.
“Not sure that she wants that Beckett determination barking at her door, Mom. ”
“Then I have no doubt in my mind that you, being your father’s son, will make her change her way of thinking there. ”
“I’m trying. God, I’m trying. ”
She smiles, reaches out and pulls my hand from my glass. “Tell me what’s going on. Let’s talk game plan, honey. ”
I give her a smile, matching the one on her face, and proceed to tell her everything that’s been going on for the last year. Starting with the feelings I had when I first met Megan. When I started spending time with Molly. How I knew she would be mine long before I confirmed that feeling. And finally how I’ve been trying to bring Megan back
to herself. When I finish talking she has tears in her eyes.
“You’ve always felt deeply, son. I have to say, hearing how you talk about her and her daughter makes me feel nothing but pride. ”
I open my mouth, but before I can get a word out, I hear the back door open.
“Wildcat, get your man some water. Damn it’s hot out there. I haven’t been this sweaty since—” My dad’s words die on his lips when he turns to see me sitting with my mom. His gaze, never missing a thing, takes in the serious vibes floating around before he—thankfully—can finish his sentence. “What’s wrong?”