“Dani, she’s afraid to feel. Don’t you get it? She lost her husband and you and I both know that’s the biggest issue here. She was alone long before Cohen and Chance dragged her into our group and even then she was alone until she let you in. Tell me, has she let any of the other girls in?” I wait until Dani gives me a sad smile. “I didn’t think so. She might talk to the girls, but you’re the only one that she’s let in. ”
“That doesn’t mean much, Lee. She might have let me in, but she still won’t really talk to me. Not about anything major. I’ve tried. I know her and Jack were close, like we are close, they had a friendship long before they got married, but past that she doesn’t talk about him. I know she didn’t have a good childhood—or hell, life before her and Jack got married. No details though. Nothing past the basics. ”
Jesus, this is going to be harder than I thought.
“One step at a time. First things first, she has to remember what it feels like to be alive, Dani. ”
“What? What the hell does that mean?”
I smile and I know Dani can see my determination because she gives me one of her own. “Now I bring her back to life. One day at a time. ”
“You’re crazy. ”
“Nah, more like determined. ”
“Well, what’s this grand plan entail?”
“What’s the best way to feel alive?”
“Lee, I don’t think you can just have sex with her every time you see her. Things might get sticky . . . no wait, that’s a bad word for it. Gross. ” She makes a gagging noise and wrinkles her nose up.
“Shut it,” I laugh. “Not quite, however when that comes she definitely will remember how alive she is. No, I’m thinking more like doing things that make her heart pound. She needs to feel and as much as I can’t wait to have her in my bed again, that’s going to have to wait. Unfortunately. ”
“You won’t last a week. ”
“Dani, I’ll last a lot longer than a week. I had her one night, I know it’s worth the wait. ”
She just smiles before pulling a piece of paper from her purse and a pen before turning back to me. I watch as she writes in her neat handwriting, Feeling Alive, and draws a line under it. “Let’s go, big boy. Let’s make a list of all the ways you can make Megan feel alive. ”
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I laugh and before I know it, we’ve filled up the whole damn sheet and Dani stands to leave. I look down at our list and smile.
“You’re going to have one hell of a fight on your hands here, Lee,” she says and wraps her arms around me in a hug of support.
“Yeah, but it’s one worth fighting. ”
She gives me a squeeze and mumbles, “I’m here if you need me. ”
“Thanks for today, Dani. Go get home to your boys before Cohen comes kicking my door in. ”
After walking Dani out, I head over to my cell and pull up an empty text screen. I send what I need and with a smile I head to the living room to catch up on Sports Center before bed.
I SAVED THE DOCUMENT I had been working on when my phone chimes. Molly crashed early, so I had been working for a little while before bed. It wasn’t often that I got to work before the late hours, so I was soaking it up while I could. One plus about being an author, I set my own hours. Of course the flip side of that, with each release, it was a little bittersweet because I didn’t have anyone to share those moments with.
My phone chimes again and I’m reminded of the text that came through earlier.
Unknown: Your house. Tomorrow. Noon.
What in the world?
I run through my mind who could possibly be texting me when my phone goes off again.
Unknown: Don’t ignore me. I’ll find you.
A shiver runs through me.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: Lee, baby.
I drop my phone and listen as it clatters against my desk. Liam. My God, he doesn’t give up. I pick up my phone and without much thought, program him into my phone.
Me: I’m busy.
Liam: Don’t lie, darlin', we both know you aren’t busy. Molly will be in school so don’t use her as an excuse either. It’s my last off day and WE have plans. Night, doll.
Me: I won’t be here.
Liam: Then I’ll find you.
Me: Liam . . .
Liam: Megan . . .
I ignore him. If I continue with this bazaar game he seems to be playing then I’ll just encourage him. I turn my attention back to my computer when my phone chimes again. I spend a few seconds telling myself not to look. Just ignore it. My willpower lasts all of five of those seconds and when a reminder chime goes off, I snatch the phone up and I can’t help the smile that slowly tugs my lips up.
Liam: Sweet dreams, darlin'.
I don’t respond. I don’t acknowledge the warm feeling that covers me like a blanket either. But I also don’t stop smiling until long after those sweet dreams he told me to have had taken over.
Each and every one of them included Liam Beckett.
“Mommy! I want to wear the white ones,” Molly whines and points to her dress shoes.
“Baby, not today. Let’s wear those when you get home from school. The last time you wore them you had blisters. Remember how bad you said your feet hurt?”
She wrinkles her little button nose and her smile drops.
“How about when you get home we can put on a fashion show? We can both wear our pretty shoes. ”
Just as quickly her mood changes and a big smile takes over her adorable face.
“Kay!” she screams and leaps up to wrap her arms around my neck, causing me to lose my balance from where I had been hunched down to pull her shoes out of the hall closet.
We both land and laugh before I climb up and finish getting her ready for school. By the time we leave the house we’re already running ten minutes behind. I try not to pay too much attention to how beautiful my yard looks now that Liam spent yesterday morning giving it some much needed attention. I definitely don’t look at the fence on the side of the house that now doesn’t look like it is about to fall apart. I most definitely don’t look at my now weedless flowerbed and its addition of a wide variety of new flowers he planted yesterday in a rainbow of colors. Nope. I don’t notice any of that. And I for sure don’t have a huge grin on my face as I drive away from my now perfect yard.
After I drop Molly off at school, I head to the grocery store to get a good shop in while I don’t have an energetic five year old with me. The last time she was with me at the store, she very loudly told me and everyone around the freezer section how her ‘gina’—what she calls her vagina—got cold when I opened the door to get some ice cream. That’s my Molly. No filter at all.
By the time I finish up my shop it’s only nine so I rush home and unload before heading back out to run some errands. Errands I really don’t need to run.
My plan is to stay as busy as possible. I have to pick up Molly at two thirty, so I have a lot of time to kill. So I do what every woman does when you need to kill a few hours, just walk into a Target. You could probably lose a decade of your life in one shopping trip, not to mention spend enough money to need a second mortgage. That store, it’s my crack.
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The last time I looked at my watch, while browsing through their book section and peeking for my own—and finding it—it was almost eleven. Two hours so far spent shopping for stuff I don’t need, but now don’t know how we got along without them. I mean everyone needs wine sippy cups, right? Well, probably not, but they were cute. I just need one more hour and I can start my ride home. Surely Liam will know I’m serious when he shows up and I’m not there.
I turned the corner to take me to the movies and stop dead. Leaning against the new release section with that damn knee-melting smile lighting up his face, is Liam.
I don’t move. My full to bursting cart acting as my lifeline and guard against him. He shov
es off and starts toward me, but I back up and move the cart toward him to stop his progress. His smile grows.
“Hey, darlin’. ”
My mouth waters as his deep voice hits my ears. Not to mention I can feel my sex clenching in want.
“You see, I’m not a stupid man, Megan. I didn’t think you would continue to play games though, but that’s okay—I’ve always loved to play. Especially when I can take my time and make sure every single move counts. ”
Surely he didn’t mean that as dirty as it sounded? Right? Something tells me that he knows exactly what his words made me think though, because that smile of his hits a level that is just downright sinful. My knees don’t just melt, my whole body does.
“Do you want to play games, darlin’?” he asks, sidestepping the cart and pulling my hands from the handle. “I think you would love the kind of games I have in mind. ” He whispers and leans down. His hands come up and his warm palms frame my face, his fingertips pushing into my hair and he tilts my head up so I’m looking at him. “I would love to show you some of my games, baby. I guarantee you’ll be screaming my name again before the day’s over. ” My mouth drops open and I gape at him as he gives me a wink. His eyes never leave mine as he lowers his head and gives me a bruising kiss.
I don’t say a word when he pulls away, all sense of thinking has dried up with that kiss.
“Come on, let’s get you checked out. Game time, baby. ”
Games? Oh. Shit.
Of course, Liam doesn’t allow me to pay. Which causes a good five minute standoff in the checkout lane that ends, with him snatching my card right out of my hand with a wink before swiping his own.
He grabs my hand and pushes the overflowing cart with his other, and drags me to the parking lot.
“I’m parked over there, Liam. ” I snap, pointing in the direction of my car.
“I know where you’re parked. As soon as we get to your house I’ll have Nate meet me there to get your keys. Don’t worry, darlin’, when we get done, your car will be safe in your driveway. ”
“What?” I fume.
“You heard me, Megan. Help me out here without throwing too much of that sexy attitude and let’s get these bags in the cab. ”
The shock of his actions only adds to the fury his determination has sparked in me. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to choke someone at the same time wanting them to take me against their truck. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much raw energy.