MILLIE
I knew something had to be wrong.
It wasn’t like Caleb to be so distant. He was forgetful at times, sure, but when he didn’t show up for work two days in a row, I found myself looking for answers. The only thing I learned was that he had taken personal leave time. Somebody, a doctoral student in the department, was proctoring his midterms, and that was all anybody thought I should know.
Still, I didn’t give up.
I sat up late waiting for Warren’s call. I didn’t know why, but it felt like I should. It was becoming harder to sleep. Living with all these unknowns, I sipped some coffee and worked on refining the outline Caleb had finally finished. Meara had long since gone to bed, and the only sound keeping me company was the ticking of the kitchen clock.
That all faded away when I listened to Warren’s story. Refusing to interrupt, I listened as he explained that Caleb had a younger brother. He had been on the autism spectrum and dealt with a variety of mental illnesses, not including his substance abuse issues. Caleb worked hard to help his brother, to be a good guardian when his parents got too feeble, but that didn’t mean Caleb could save him. As I listened, I could feel my heart breaking in all the places Caleb occupied.
“Do… do you have his address?” I finally asked Warren. “I feel like I should send him a card or something, at the very least.”
He agreed, “Yeah, you got a pen and paper?”
I jotted down the few notes Warren gave me. There was going to be a funeral in Texas next week, during fall break. Caleb would probably be back after that, but at the same time, I didn’t know how he would be. My parents weren’t around anymore, but it hadn’t been so traumatic to watch them go. I never once had to feel like I had a hand in their passing.
Before he hung up, I said, “Warren, thank you for doing this.”
“He’s been my friend for a long time, Millie,” he pointed out.
“I know, but thank you for calling me and letting me know. I won’t forget this.”
“What, me being a decent person?” he joked wryly.
“No, I mean you being kind and understanding. After what happened, I wasn’t sure how you felt about me anymore.”
There was a pregnant pause from the other end of the line. For a moment, I wondered if Warren was going to offer another vague goodbye.
“Caleb and I both know where you stand,” he finally said. “We… we’re okay with it, and if he needs you, then he needs you. I’m not going to stand in the way of his happiness or yours.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. We’ll have our chance to talk. Don’t worry.”
“I… I’ll look forward to that.”
When we finally bid each other farewell, I knew I wasn’t going to last long. I needed to get some sleep first, but in the early hours of the morning, my eyes popped open with purpose.
I was there when the grocery store down the street first opened, and when Meara shuffled out of her bedroom, my two casseroles in their aluminum tins were just coming out of the oven.
“What’s going on?” she asked, half-asleep and very confused.
“My friend’s had a family emergency,” I explained as I covered each with the shiny paper lid. “I’m going over to see him.”
“One of your gentleman friends?” she wondered with a yawn.
“Yes, Caleb. I don’t think he’s doing well, and he doesn’t need to be alone.”
“Do you need to borrow my car?”
I looked at my stuff. There were two casseroles, some wine, flowers, and an overnight I’d packed on impulse. I didn’t expect anything to happen, but I also didn’t want to have to leave Caleb alone just because I couldn’t wash my face or brush my teeth. Even if I didn’t use any of it, it made me feel better to take my canvas duffle along.
“Um, yeah, I think I might,” I realized. “Thanks, Meara.”
“Hey, no worries. There are plenty of trains and buses in this city. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you need to get ready for work,” I realized. “Let me get out of the way. Oh, there are some muffins here too, if you want one.”