MILLIE
As soon as the door closed behind Warren, I fell down into my chair. I was overheated, excited, and a little bewildered. It was one thing to want three men in theory. As a lovesick schoolgirl, there were plenty of times when my friends and I would have crushes on entire boy bands, but this… this wasn’t fawning over a magazine page or pretending to plan a wedding that would never happen. These were real men with very real feelings and desires.
To begin with, Caleb hadn’t said anything about his feelings. If Warren was right, I had to hear the truth straight from the horse’s mouth, especially when if that mouth had been hiding secret yearnings behind sips of coffee and polite smiles.
I guess, if it was true, those smiles weren’t really polite.
Then, there was Vlad. He’d scooped me up off the street and whisked me into a moment that felt almost decadent and a little dangerous. Why speak when words were inadequate? Even after days passing and only a few glances, I was found myself growing more infatuated with that man. I was already craving more from him, but that didn’t change how close I came to losing myself five minutes later.
Warren’s unbridled confidence had him bucking like an unbroken stallion, annoyed that I could flirt with him and kiss another man. Even if he had a little gray around the temple, that English professor hadn’t lost his spark. It burned in his eyes and tempted me closer. If I didn’t care about Caleb, it would have been too easy to let Warren take me there. I could have shown him just how badly I wanted him, even with Vlad nearly turning me to putty on the pavement.
My cheeks began to burn at the thought. Caleb was due back any minute for his late-afternoon lunch before his classes that stretched into the evening. The space between my thighs throbbed, eager for attention. This was almost worse than merely fantasizing about the three of them. Being teased like this was cruel and unusual punishment, and suddenly, I didn’t trust myself to linger in the office any longer. I started to scramble for a piece of paper and pen.
Not feeling myself,I wrote. I’ve got some stuff we can go over tomorrow, but I’ve gone home, just to be safe. Hope you have a good rest of your day. - Millie
I wasn’t sick, but the wording looked vague enough that Caleb could presume some bout of illness. Gathering my things, I rushed out before I could be caught in a lie, or worse, caught against another man. With my body feeling this hot and bothered, it would only take one good look for me to ruin every boundary I’d set with Caleb. I hurried out to the nearest bus stop, making out like a bandit on the lam.
I didn’t want my love life to affect my career, but my physical needs were getting the better of me. I had let these fantasies go on for too long. Now, I was struggling to control myself.
I needed to breathe.
After getting back to the apartment, I took a cool shower and changed into a fresh T-shirt and leggings, allowing myself to work from the breakfast bar. I sat myself at one of the three counter stools, unpacking all the notes I’d made in the library.
That time in the archives felt a lifetime away.
Now, my head was spinning so fast I found it hard to focus. Practicality and reason told me to speak with them, to let the men know without question how I stood. I didn’t need to be exclusive to be happy. If anything, it was the opposite, and it didn’t have to be some strange battle for my hand. It didn’t work out for Helen of Troy, and it wouldn’t work out here, either. Nobody needed to fight for my favor.
They could all have a part of me. With all the desires they elicited, there was more than enough to go around, but would they really understand? Groaning, I put my head down on the cool stone counter
“I need to wake up,” I told myself. “The dream is just a dream. You’re in bed, drunk and dreaming.”
In a perfect world, we would all be free to date whomever we chose. There wouldn’t be all those strict rules about who was appropriate and who was inappropriate. I would be able to ask for what I needed and get it all from anyone I wanted. As I lamented my anxiety and worries of what might come next, my phone buzzed nearby. It was a text from Vlad.
Thank you for indulging me today. I’m already looking forward to next time.
I felt my heart speed up again. His words were both soothing and exciting at the same time. Even if I had just ruined things with Warren and possibly Caleb, it was nice to know my tall, dark, and handsome Russian would be there to forget my woes. Just the memory of lunch alone made me get a taste for red wine.
Closing my laptop, I decided that was enough for the day. I had put in plenty of hours of work, and it was nearly five o’clock. Twenty minutes wouldn’t make a difference in my life, but the glass of Cabernet I poured myself just might. By the time Meara got home from work, I had relaxed into the sofa, turned on the television stuck to the wall, and become far more Zen than I had been earlier.
“Hey, Mills,” she chimed upon seeing me. “I didn’t expect to see you here so early.”
“I came home around one,” I admitted, muting the dating show reruns I’d been binging.
Pulling off her heels, she looked me over. “Well, you don’t look sick. Was it a mental health thing?”
“Maybe.”
“Okay, just give me five seconds.”
Hurrying into her room, Meara was already undoing her pencil skirt and pulling off her pink blouse. I didn’t get the chance to comment how her hair wasn’t rosy pink anymore. It was pale blonde, shaggy and short around her face. Rushing back out a few minutes later, she grabbed a glass of the water from the kitchen before joining me in the living room. Her cotton shorts rode up as she balled herself into the armchair.
“When did you do your hair?” I wondered first. “It’s nice.”
“Thanks, I trimmed it up last night,” she replied, scrunching the wavy bob with her hands. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”
“I have a problem. Well, actually I have three problems.”
She wasn’t fooled. Sipping her water, she set in down on a nearby silver side table and looked back at me.