CHAPTER19
NOVA
I haveto meet the rest of Zeke’s family this morning and then go to Morleau for a doctor’s appointment. Zeke arranged it like this for a reason, and I’m eternally grateful to him. A doctor’s appointment is the perfect excuse to get out of a social gathering. His brothers suggested a Thanksgiving dinner, but Zeke shut the door on that idea as fast as I would have.
My heart still blips when I think about it. Instead, we chose the Tuesday after the Canadian holiday where we would do a quick brunch barbecue and then sneak out to head to the neighbouring town where there’s a pregnancy clinic.
“You ready?” Zeke calls through the closed door.
I’ve tried on every outfit I own, but everything feels tight and uncomfortable, so I end up in leggings and an oversized sweater that I put a belt on. Heartburn radiates through my chest, and I can’t imagine eating a single bite of food right now.
My belly is rounding out and making everything tight around the waist. The green sweater engulfs my frame, even with the belt high on my waist. I suppose I should choose comfort in this instance, anyway.
Luckily, Jet offered to drive their mom, so I dodged that bullet.
“In a minute,” I answer.
I lean toward the mirror, examining the eyeliner along my lids and fixing my deep brown eyeshadow. I dab on some high-shine gloss in a nude colour and add another coat of mascara. Fluffing my loose waves, I stare at myself. I look ready to step in front of the camera, which I guess I’m doing today, in a way. Ready to smile and speak clearly and look like I’m not prepared to vomit up my socks.
I slip on a pair of chunky boots and finish with a coat. I’m still not sure if I’ll survive this cold mountain air.
Maybe I’ll go shopping in Morleau after. Zeke said it’s a ski resort town, so they’ll be able to outfit me with arctic gear. Everything you’d need to go in search of a polar bear is what I need.
“Like an actual minute, or a girl minute?” Zeke’s frustrated voice pushes through the wood and drywall, and I roll my eyes.
Since I broke through his defences without his permission the other day, he’s been a bit skittish with me, and I don’t like it. The casual comfort he usually provides is erratic, and these frustrated comments slip through. Now that I’ve seen the truth of his real feelings about Tabby going away to college, it’s like I’m somehow the enemy.
I fling open the door, ready to snark at him, but when he sees me, he’s stunned enough to pull his palm across his mouth.
“Shit, Nova,” he mumbles, barely audible.
“What? Is it okay?” I run my hands along my sweater from my breasts to my hips.
“Yeah, it’s okay.” He grins, raking his gaze down my body. “You are stunning.”
I’m not sure how to respond, so we stand there staring at each other for a while before he laughs and takes my hand, guiding me out the door and into the crisp fall air.
Once we’re in the truck, he starts the engine, then looks at me again. A small chuckle behind closed lips digs at me.
“Why do you keep looking at me and laughing?” I cross my arms, discomfort beginning to poke its way through. I don’t want to be defensive, but that’s what Zeke and I have in common—keeping people out.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m fucking nervous.” He grips the steering wheel with pale knuckles.
“You said you talked to your brothers already. That it wasn’t going to be a big thing.”
“I did. That’s not what I’m nervous about.”
The doctor. This will be his first visit to the doctor with me. I’ve heard the heartbeat already, an echoing thump coming from that tiny bean. He has not. This appointment is a routine one, and I’ll be meeting the doctor I’ll be with while I’m here.
My gut sinks. I don’t know how long that will be. I’ve left my busted phone in a drawer for the past week and have used all my willpower not to check it. If my family gets ahold of me, I might not be strong enough to stay away.
“It’ll be okay. It’s pretty standard.” I centre my thoughts on today. I can’t fix my situation with my family right now. I can’t let it get in the way of today.
Gradually, the town disappears, and we’re heading out on a winding road that looks like it takes us to the base of a mountain. The landscape here is stunning, majestic, and a little bit humbling.
“Oh, okay. Standard. Makes sense, what with all the baby appointments I’ve been to in my life.” He tenses his shoulders, and I sense the pattern I’ve been picking up on over the last couple of weeks.
Zeke is the guy who makes jokes to cover up his fears, who acts out to hide his insecurities. The guy who lightens the mood to protect himself.