She looks shocked.
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” Marcy says softly.
“Oh really?” I say in a sarcastic tone before sweeping furious eyes at her. “I’ve deposited close to a hundred thousand dollars in your account now. How much do you want?” I rage. “A million before you quit babysitting? A billion before you quit Sanctum? HOW MUCH?!?!?”
Marcy lays a hand gently on my arm. “Jared,” she says my name softly. “Please, it’s not what you think.”
I finally turn my head, and I know that my expression must be filled with pain, because Marcy looks chastened.
“There’s been a misunderstanding,” she reiterates in a soft voice. “I really didn’t see it the way that you do. I figured that you pay for my company, and that was the deal.”
It’s my turn to be dumbstruck. “The deal, right,” I agree. “God, the stupid fucking deal. Of course I pay you! Because I want you to be happy and to relieve some of your stress! Not because I want you to throw yourself into a wolves’ dens only to be attacked. Who the fuck was that guy?”
Marcy looks pained. “It was just a regular babysitting job through Child Mine. Same as always. A new client whom I’d never met, but I had no reason to suspect that he was dangerous.”
“Then why do it?” I scream, making her wince and cover her ears. “Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you doing this to me? I’ve become an insane person, tracking you on your phone and worrying about your safety 24/7. Do you realize that you’ve made me crazy? I love you so much that it hurts, and now I’ve become an insane person!”
She gasps, a tiny but powerful sound. “What?” Marcy stammers. “You love me?”
“Yes!” I practically howl now. “I’m fucking in love with you, and I’m the biggest idiot of all time because look what this has come down to! I literally just broke into some chump’s townhouse to rescue you from his unwanted advances. What the fucking fuck!”
Marcy begins crying then, and the pain in my heart is so great that I almost keel over in the driver’s seat. Finally, my woman sniffles and swipes at her cheeks.
“I… Jared, I was too scared to quit my jobs,” Marcy finally offers. “The money was having a different effect than you think.”
“What?” I ask, baffled by this information. “A different effect? The whole point was to relieve the burden on your shoulders. I wanted to make your life better by depositing cash in your account.”
She nods slowly.
“Yes, but we never really talked about our relationship, and what it meant to either one of us. I mean, when we first met, you kept going about how you just wanted to have fun. ‘No strings attached,’ I think was the term you used. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s stayed with me in the back of my mind.”
I wince, but don’t say anything, and she continues.
“So yes, NSA right? I was already having feelings for you at that point, but I had to tamp down on them. I didn’t want you to feel like I was going to pressure you into something you weren’t ready for. And then the money seemed like an easy way to keep our relationship transactional.”
“So basically you felt like a whore,” I state in a flat tone. “That’s what getting paid meant to you.”
She thinks for a moment, those pretty features grave.
“Not exactly a whore, but I definitely wasn’t sure that we were going to last. The money made it seem like I was still a girl you’d bought and paid for. So days turned to weeks and weeks to a few months, and the feeling between us began to change, but I didn’t know how to talk to you about it,” she admits in a soft voice. “Thinking back, I should have just brought it up instead of working myself into the ground.”
“You should have,” I state flatly.
She hiccups a little.
“It was hard,” Marcy acknowledges. “But I was afraid to let go of my jobs just in case this whole thing ended in a poof. There were no promises from you, and who knows? Maybe I really was just another girl from Sanctum to be enjoyed for a little while, and then traded in after things got old.”
I stare at her.
“You were never that,” I growl.
She nods.
“I know that now, but up until fifteen minutes ago, I had no idea, Jared. You see, I love you, too, Jared,” she tells me in a breathless rush. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time now, but I couldn’t and I wouldn’t say it out loud. But I’m saying it now.”
I stare into those big brown eyes, a lump in my throat. This young woman is so earnest, beautiful, and tender at once. And to think we were almost done in by the root of all evils: money. God, if I could only re-do that part of our relationship all over again.