I got up and stood behind him, watching as he subconsciously leaned back into me. I took the offered opportunity and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him from behind.
“No one deserves that, Beau, and I don’t know what happened to you, but I’ll respect you and your wishes. Know this, though, no matter how much you ask me, I’ll never hurt you. Now,” I said, leading him back to the bed. “You lie here, and I’ll go make us some coffee.”
I busied myself in the kitchen, thinking about what the hell made him think the way he did. It couldn’t be healthy, but only he knew what was going on in his head. I noticed he’d pulled on a shirt when I walked back into the bedroom. I guess the previous mood had been lost, but I wasn’t too disappointed. Things did seem to be moving quickly, and I had no idea what was happening with the band after the call I’d just received.
I sat on the edge of the bed, feeling a chill in the air, goosebumps erupting on my skin.
“Here, climb in next to me, warm yourself up.” I did as he asked, but it all felt just a little awkward, and I certainly wasn’t prepared for his next words.
“Not many people know this about me, other than Megan for obvious reasons, and Ziggy and Marc. And now you, if you want to know?” He turned to look at me, and I nodded. I did want to know, wanted to know everything I could about this man with the sad smile.
“We were always such a happy family. Mum, Dad, Megan and me. Rarely any disagreements, we behaved for the most part, just the usual sibling bickering. We never wanted for anything. Christmas and birthdays, we got what we wanted.” He shifted on the bed, his back to the wall and legs crossed.
“About eight years ago, when I was sixteen and Megan just twelve, we were driving home from some family party along the motorway. It was late, and we were all tired. Megan was being irritating, an annoying little sister, trying to rile me up, make me bite, as she did occasionally.
“It was around the time I was exploring my sexuality. I think I knew I was gay, and that night, I was texting a guy from school. I suppose we were flirting, getting a bit heavy with our conversation. He was asking me for a dick pic, and I was trying to explain I couldn’t do it right then, but I would when I got home. At the exact time a picture of his very erect cock came through, Megan snatched the phone from me.”
I kind of guessed where this was going, and I was cringing inwardly at the thought of what came next.
“I tried to snatch it back from her, but all I could hear was her threatening to show Mum and Dad, and well, I couldn’t have that now, could I? So, there we were, fighting in the back of the car, me trying to get the phone back and her waving it around, getting closer and closer to the front of the car with it.
To this day, I can’t explain how it happened. I just know that one minute we were fighting and the next, I’d hit Dad trying to get the phone from her. The car swerved, hitting a vehicle in the middle lane before careening the other way and hitting the central reservation. I don’t remember much else, except for the car flipping over and over. I must have been knocked unconscious. The next thing I remember, I was waking up in the hospital. I’d been out of it a day or so and only found out then that my parents had died and Megan had been seriously injured. Her leg and face were both messed up. She carries the limp and the scars to this day.”
I could see how this was affecting him, how he might think that it was his fault, but it really wasn’t. It was a horrible accident, no one’s fault. Huh, if anything, you could have argued it was Megan’s for stealing his phone, but I was starting to see how Beau’s mind worked and could understand why he thought he was to blame. I was grateful he’d told me. I felt privileged he was comfortable enough to do so, but before I could say more, he carried on.
“We did okay at first. After she came out of hospital, we moved in with some relatives. I was still under age, so at least we avoided being put into care. We were there a few years, and things were good, but then Megan found drugs. She was in a lot of pain and started to take extra pills, using her allowance to buy extra from some dude at school.”
“Look, Beau. You don’t have to carry on. I get it. I really do. Thank you for telling me.” I handed him his coffee and patted the bed next to me. “Why don’t we talk about something else like where our next date will be. I think we must be up to about number five by now.”
Sitting next to me, he took the coffee from my hands and leaned back on the headboard, his legs outstretched.
“I’m sorry I ruined the mood.”
“You didn’t,” I answered truthfully.
“Nah, I did. You’re just too nice to say it. I’d like to try again, though. Not now, but some other time.”
“I would too, and I swear as soon as I know what’s going on, we can go out again. To the beach again maybe? I know how much you enjoy it there.”
“I’d like that, but you need to call the guys and I need to find a job.”
“I do and you do, but first”—I took his coffee cup from him, placing it on the table next to us—“let’s do a little more of this.” I took hold of his face with both hands and brought his lips to mine.
“I like the way you think, Kwan. A little more of this sounds just perfect.”