KWAN
Itexted him Hana’s address, agreeing to meet him there around ten thirty. Her and Olly lived close by, but I still needed to get myself showered and there before he arrived to warn Hana.
I knew I was being a coward. I could have asked him to meet me at home. My parents would be going to the restaurant soon enough to start getting ready for our family dinner, but I figured Hana would be the support I needed right now. And, if I did by some minor miracle persuade Beau to come with me to dinner, he’d at least know someone other than me.
I was excited to see him again even though I’d only left him yesterday afternoon. My evening and night had been filled with thoughts of him, and I honestly couldn’t remember the last time, if any at all, that I’d felt anything like this for anyone. Even the crush I’d had on Cho when we were about seventeen hadn’t felt like this. Just the memory of lying with Beau in bed, talking to him, made me smile. How nice would it be to have someone to spend my waking and sleeping moments with. A special person I could share everything with.
I almost knocked Jung over as I left my room and he emerged from his. He growled at me as he made his way downstairs. He wasn’t going to ruin my mood today, not now I was getting to see Beau. It felt like things were moving fast yet not moving fast enough.
I dipped into the bathroom before anyone else could, quickly locking the door behind me. The thoughts I was having of Beau, I needed to relieve myself in more ways than one. I couldn’t promise to keep my hands off him if I didn’t do something about the raging hard-on I now had. Hana would have a field day. The hot water cascaded down from the rain showerhead, and I felt like I was drowning. It brought me back to the conversation I’d had with Beau the day before. Seemed everything reminded me of him right now. I didn’t know if this was because it was all so new or something else.
I’d been in here for a good while, though, and if I was going to get to Hana’s before Beau, I needed to hurry. After dressing, I sat down in the kitchen for a quick coffee before leaving, ignoring Mum’s questioning looks. She knew something was up, but she’d have to wait. A quick kiss to her cheek and I dashed out the door, telling her I’d see her later.
I wasn’t quite sure how Beau was getting here and could have kicked myself when I remembered how little money he had. Maybe I could drop him home later, or better still, he could stay over.
I arrived at Hana’s with minutes to spare to see Beau standing by the front door, leaning against the wall, his leg propped up behind him.
“So, it seems like this isn’t your house, but where your sister lives.” I frowned at his comment and the look on his face.
He stepped away from the wall and started to walk away from me, his shoulders slumped. No, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. I was supposed to arrive first, and it’d all be fine.
“Beau, stop. Don’t leave,” I shouted to his departing back.
He turned suddenly, his jaw tense, nostrils flaring. He wasn’t just angry, he was fucking furious, and he had every right to be. I’d never explained my home situation to him before. We just hadn’t had a chance.
“You hiding me away, Kwan? Don’t want your parents to see you with the white boy? Am I not good enough for you? Poor Beau from the streets with nothing to his name save a few quid and the clothes on his back.”
“It’s not like that at all, not how you’re thinking anyway. I’m not hiding you away. It’s just…complicated at the moment.”
“Yeah, I get it. You don’t have to explain. See you around, Kwan.” He turned again and carried on walking away from me.
Dammit, I couldn’t let this happen. He needed to see he was worth it, that we had to give it a try. Standing here, seeing the best thing that had crossed my path in, well, forever, leave me, had me striding after him, finally catching up.
“My parents don’t know about me. That’s why.” I spun him around to face me, seeing the tears in his eyes, watching as one trailed a path down his smooth tanned skin. I reached up, brushing it away.
“I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be that, and I needed to see you again. I chose my sister’s house because she knows about me, she always has, and I knew we could be as we wanted to be in front of her. If you came to my house, not only would you get the third degree but so would I and I wouldn’t be able to kiss you the way I really, really want to.”
I could see he was still on the verge of running, but I ploughed on.
“That wouldn’t be fair. I thought a gentle introduction to the family would be better, and I’m fucking sorry if it came across any other way.”
Beau gazed off into the distance, and I thought for a split second that I’d blown it with him, that he was just going to walk away again and I’d lose him forever.
“So you’re not ashamed of me,” he said, more of a statement than a question, and I answered him as honestly as I could.
“No, I’m not and never likely to be either. I’m sorry I gave you that impression, but this is about me, not you. I should have explained.” I shrugged. “It just never seemed to be the right time.”
“I think now might be the right time, don’t you? You’ve got ten minutes.”
“Let’s go back to Hana’s, please. I don’t want to do this in the middle of the street.”
I was tempted to reach for his hand, but under the circumstances, I didn’t think it was a good idea. Still, I couldn’t resist placing my hand in the small of his back.
Hana let us into the house, indicating we could use the front room but not before she gave me a smack to the back of my head, muttering under her breath in Korean.
I rubbed at my head, seeing a brief smile flicker across Beau’s face. Maybe it wasn’t a lost cause just yet.
He sat on the couch, perched nervously on the edge. “Talk, Kwan. Time’s ticking.”