ESMERALDA 13
I don’t know what time it is as it is dark under the Gazebo, but I know that it must be morning because I can hear the tread of the early morning runners and the cars in the distance starting to make their way to work. I’m so tired, so very tired. I tried to sleep, but it eluded me. All I could think about was Dag, and the way I miss his arms around me when we go to sleep. I miss his lips on mine and the way he makes me feel safe.
I want him. I want him more than I have ever wanted anything in my life, but doing that I’m placing his life and the lives of the others in danger. I will not harm anyone else because of my needs and safety. Deep down I want him to come after me, tell me that he wants me for always, that what we have is real, but I know he won’t. I know love is a pipe dream.
A tear streaks down my cheek, one of many. I have always felt alone, and like there was no one out there in the world that cared about me. Then I am taken to live at the club, and everything that I thought I knew changed. People have never treated me as well as the Elementals treated me, or looked at me like I was worth something.
I have a desperate drive to go look for Dag, to go and see him even if from far, but I know that if I go anywhere near Dag, he will feel me close. I need to leave Cape Town, I need to make my way somewhere where no one will know me, somewhere where none of the Desperados or the Elementals will find me. I have never felt such a desperate loss like I feel knowing that I’m never going to see Dag again. I have felt death before—the death of my mother and the death of some of the women at the club that used to come and live there but were always either ended up overdosing or dying of natural causes like the coroner used to say.
I knew better, but I also knew that I would face a similar death if I didn’t keep quiet. Even living through all those deaths, I have never felt the complete wrenching feeling that I feel at the moment. Grabbing my backpack, I start to slide out from under the Gazebo. If I don’t find a way out today, I can always make my way here again tonight to sleep.
Reaching the entrance, I groan as the morning light shines in my eyes. The noise is now extreme as there is more traffic, and more people in the park exercising. With so many factors bombarding my senses, I close myself down as I crawl out of my hiding place and into the open. My hair falls over my face as I stand. I can just imagine how unruly it must look. Sliding the haversack over my shoulder, I grab my hair, pulling it back out of my face and then freeze. Not more than a couple of feet away is Dag glaring at me.
How did he find me? I wasn’t making a noise, and I’m far enough from the club for him not to sense my energy. It is clear that he’s angry. There is a vein pulsing by his neck, and his eyes flash as he takes the steps needed to reach me. “How di…” I start to ask, before gasping in surprise as he bends his knees. His big muscular hands are clasping me around my waist, lifting me off the ground, and then throwing me over his shoulder.
He doesn’t let me finish my question as he starts making his way towards the exit that leads to the way I came in. “Put me down!” I shout in surprise.
He grunts, which only makes me start slapping his back.
“I said, put me down! People are looking.” I have never been someone that enjoys attention, but Dag ignores me as he continues walking. I start to kick my legs, wanting to be placed on the ground, but to no avail. Instead, his arm snaps around the back of my knees, holding my legs still, making me immobile. His angry stride has me bouncing on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
Lifting my head, I’m surprised to see Tal and Asgar walking behind us. Tal has a wide grin splitting across his face. Asgar too seems amused. I can feel the heat on my cheeks, which tells me that my face has filled with an embarrassed colour. “Put me down, you Barbarian,” I whisper loudly, knowing that the other two men more than likely heard me.
Dag continues walking as if I didn’t say anything. I know that no matter how much I fight, I will never be able to get away from him, so I decide to stay still. When we leave the park, Dag heads towards the three Harleys parked to one side. He pulls me off his shoulder and onto his bike. At any other time, I would have tried to run, but I know that it would be pointless. The ride home is made in mere minutes. I felt like I was walking for much longer than it took us to get back.
Every jar of the bike has me wincing as my bruised body complains. I haven’t had a chance to look at my bruising today, but I can only imagine that I have more than a few. Also, my wrist is screaming in pain as I had no painkillers this morning.
Arriving at the club, Dag parks the bike. Standing, he helps me off before he turns his back on me and walks away towards the trees. I stand there, unsure of what to do. Should I go after him? Should I wait here for him? Looking towards the main gates to the club I see the prospect closing them, which tells me I won’t be leaving.
“Give him some time to calm down. Why don’t you go to your room?” Asgar says, as he walks past me. I notice that Tal has gone after Dag. Now that I’ve seen him walk away in anger, I want to go after him and explain, and to apologize when I see how angry he is, but instead, I follow Asgar’s advice and make my way inside only to come face to face with Tor.
“Esmeralda.” His voice is deep, and his scowl would make any man shake in fright.
I can feel my own stomach knotting with nerves. Will he slap me for being disobedient? Will he hurt me to make me aware of who is boss?
“Why did you run away, weren’t you being treated well?”
I nod my head, not sure what to say to him. Tor is a formidable presence, even though he looks like a Viking God. There is danger written all over him. It’s clear that he doesn’t accept fools lightly, and I’m sure that he doesn’t accept people that are ungrateful lightly either, which will be what he is thinking of me right now.
“So, why then?” he asks again. I hear a noise close behind me, but I don’t turn, worried that Tor will pounce while my concentration is elsewhere.
“I… I didn’t want… anyone else hurt because of me,” I murmur quietly as I look down, feeling helpless at the truth of it.
Tor takes a step closer. “Look at me!” His tone leaves no room for disobedience. I can feel myself shaking, expecting to be slapped at any moment. Seeing the size of him, I know that it will more than likely knock me to the floor. Looking up, I see his expression has changed, a kind, nearly regretful look is now in his eyes as he looks at me. “Listen to me, Esmeralda. You are now part of our club. You are an Elemental, and no one messes with an Elemental. We entered this war not just because of you, but because of all the women out there that have been kidnapped, hurt, or killed because of those fuckers.” He shrugs as a fleeting smile raising his lips. “It was an admirable thing you did, leaving to protect us, but stupid too. Don’t ever place yourself in danger unnecessarily.” His tone hardens in warning, and with those words, he steps around me and makes his way towards the door.
I’m about to make my way to the room when he stops me with his next words, which has me glancing back only to see Dag standing in the doorway next to Tor and Tal. “And Esmeralda…” When I meet his eyes, he continues, “welcome to the Elemental family.” With those words, he finally leaves. Dag catches my guilty gaze, and I see anger still clearly defined in his features, but his eyes aren’t as hard.
I want to turn back to him and have his arms wrap around me, holding me close, promising me that this is real, that if I blink, everything won’t change. But instead, I look forward and continue on my way to our room.
Entering the room, I look around and see that everything is still exactly the same as when I left. Was Dag looking for me the whole night? Hearing a step come from behind me, I turn to find Anastasia in the doorway with a smile on her face. “You are back! We were so worried about you,” she says. I would have expected accusations, but instead she seems genuinely relieved to see me.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say.
I can see that Anastasia is being genuine and truly wants to be my friend, something in which I have not made easy. From today on, I will try to be different. I will try to integrate and give this place a chance. Maybe it really is as good as it seems. After all, what have I got to lose?
Anastasia waves her hand to dismiss my apology. “Don’t worry about it. As long as you are okay, that’s all that matters. How is your wrist?” she questions.
I wince at a sharp pain in it. “To be honest, I think I overdid it yesterday. It isn’t happy with me,” I say, seeing her frown as she looks at me.