Since he was being all assertive and shit, I decided to see where he was going to take it. I sat my happy ass on that couch and didn’t move. I was sitting there panting like a puppy waiting for my next command. What the hell was wrong with me? Baby plopped down next to me and grabbed his remote control. When the red box popped on the screen with those seven white letters teasing me, I started laughing. Was he serious with this?
“Netflix™ and chill? Is that what you think we’re doing? I thought you were going to feed a sista.”
“Oh, you want to eat first? I got you. Come on in the kitchen with me.”
He stood and marched off into what I assumed was the kitchen. He was acting like I was bothering him or something. I wasn’t sure what was happening. I mean, he was the one who invited me over for dinner. I followed him expecting to see some food in dishes. At the very least there should have been some takeout, but there was nothing. Not even a whiff of food in the air. Then the fool reached in his pantry, pulled out a pack of Ramen and handed it to me.
“Here you go. Will one pack be enough, or do you need two?”
I stood there looking at him like he was insane. I just stared at the packet of noodles like it was poison. Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to eating Ramen, but that is not what I signed up for. And this fool expected me to cook my own?
“Naw, bruh. You got me messed all the way up. What am I supposed to do with this?”
“What, you too good for noodles?”
“I didn’t say all of that. However, you asked me to come over here. That means you knew I was coming. I didn’t just pop up on you.”
“What’s your point?”
Okay, now I was getting heated. The audacity of this man.
“Listen, I ain’t one of these bougie bitches, but damn, would it kill you to put in a little effort? I may not be bougie, but I am also not one of the Sweet Lips. You can’t ask me over for dinner and then not have any food. I feel like I’m in the fucking Twilight Zone™ or some shit. Who does shit like this?”
“Sounds like you think you’re too good for me. This is how I get down.”
“Maybe that’s why you don’t have a woman. This isn’t about what you want me to eat. This is about respect and putting in effort. Any woman worth her salt would be offended by you throwing a pack of noodles at her when she is expecting you to feed her. I mean, you didn’t even cook them. They are still in the pack. Damn! I ain’t ever seen no shit like this.”
I stood there with my hands on my hips, shaking my head in disbelief. What kind of man had I gotten messed up with this time? The green digits on his microwave told me I had about twenty minutes until my favorite chicken spot closed. In my head all I could see was that Sponge Bob™ meme ‘ight imma head out’. Just as I was about to turn and walk out of that place, I noticed the gleam in Baby’s eyes. He was fighting back laughter. What the fuck?
“Oh, I got you good, Obsession! This was a prank. There are a couple of cameras in here recording everything for my YouTube™ channel. You should have seen your face! If looks could kill, I would be six feet under right now.”
Laughing in relief, I playfully smacked his arm and let out the breath I was holding. I couldn’t believe him. A fuckin’ prank. I should have known. Baby is a jokester. However, in my defense, this was our first date, and I did not expect someone to do that on such an important night. I guess in his mind it made sense, though.
“Man, you were about to catch these hands. You play too much. I hope you have some real food in here. I was hungry before, now I am hangry.”
As I was chastising him. The doorbell rang.
“Just like clockwork. Your food is at the door, Princess.”
My mouth hung open in shock, causing him to laugh. Apparently, I had transformed into a stand-up comedian because Baby couldn’t stop laughing all the way to the door. When he returned to the kitchen, I was still standing in the same spot unable to move. Pranks were not my cup of tea. Yeah, I laughed, but I hated the feeling it left in its wake, a side effect of being picked on as a child.
“You good, Princess? Close your mouth, come over here and sit down. Let me feed you.”
Deciding it was better to just go with the flow, I followed his directions and sat down at the small table in his eating nook. The table was already set with plates and eating utensils, as well as glasses with ice and two bottles of unopened soda. How had I not seen this before? I guess he had planned for our date after all. That made me feel much better, and my appetite came back. Good thing too because the food he ordered smelled amazing. It almost smelled like Chinese food, but with a hint of something different.
“What’s that smell? Is that curry?”
“Good nose! Yeah, I ordered Thai. I hope that’s okay. I didn’t think you had any objections since I saw you and Mouse eating from this place a couple of weeks ago.”
Well damn. He had been paying attention to what I eat? I never would have known. He never even looked at me for more than a second or two. I figured he only asked me out because Matrix showed interest. They were best friends and very competitive about everything! Over the years I had watched as they even screwed the same women. One week Matrix was with a club whore and then the next she was all over Baby.
It wasn’t unusual for the brothers in the MC to fuck the same girls, especially the whores, but it seemed as if those two always did it back-to-back. I hope for their sake they are not planning to do the same thing with me. I am over being promiscuous. I need to find a good man to settle down with. Me dating several men at once is my way of narrowing the pool. I do not plan to sleep with all of them. I just want to get to know them to see if there is a possible future.