PJ Harlowe
As they were driving to Uncle Jack’s house on Sunday, PJ decided she had better warn Max about her family dinners. If he was expecting a close family function like those depicted in the movies, he was in for a rude awakening.
“Sunshine, I have to tell you something.”
“What’s up?”
Max had insisted on driving so instead of looking at her he placed his hand on her knee to let her know he was listening. PJ smiled at his show of affection. He was getting so comfortable around her, and she loved that he didn’t hold back on PDA. It was something she secretly craved but would never ask for.
“My uncle is a bit of the surly kind. He doesn’t like many people and it will take a great deal of patience to survive a first-time meeting with him.”
“As long as he doesn’t have a shotgun, I’m sure I will be alright.”
“Umm, not only does he have a shotgun, but he carries a Magnum that he keeps on his person at all times. He isn’t shy about brandishing it, either.”
Max shot her a look of shock causing her to laugh. He was not ready to meet her family and PJ didn’t think he would ever be. Hell, she knew them all her life and it took her at least a week to recover each time they saw each other.
“He only uses it as an intimidation factor, right?”
“I’m afraid not. Uncle Jack is a mean asshole. It is very important for you not to show any fear. The slightest show of weakness and he will pounce on you like a dog chewing a bone. Whatever he asks you, be sure to look him directly in the eyes. Oh, and whatever you do, do not sit in his chair. It is a red leather recliner that he has had for over twenty years. Whenever it wears down, he has my cousin Ray Ray reupholster it.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“Seriously, Max. No matter what someone tells you. If it is the last chair available, do not sit in that chair. Even if he offers it to you. Latti made that mistake, and he almost lost a toe.”
“What, did he have a mouse trap or something in it?”
“Umm, no. He shot at him.”
That little tidbit caused Max’s jaw to clinch. He said nothing more, but PJ could tell he was rethinking his promise to come with her. The automated voice of the GPS system announced they had arrived at their destination oh too soon. PJ closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Max parked the car on the street. She flipped the visor down and checked her face and teeth in the mirror. Satisfied that she was presentable, she gave Max the once over.
“At any point you have had enough, simply tell me I have something in my hair. That will alert me that it is time to go. Okay?”
“Got it. Are you sure you want me here with you? I can just come back and pick you up later.”
“Are you sure you want me to go skiing?”
“Point taken. Let’s get this over with. I’ll get the mac n cheese from the back seat.”
“No! Sorry, but if they see you carrying the food, they won’t eat it. My family is funny that way. I got it. Just get the door for me.”
Max was used to people staring at him because of his celebrity, so PJ was sure he would be able to take her nosey aunties and cousins. They sometimes forgot their manners and openly stared at strangers, not realizing that it made people nervous. As Max made it around the car to open PJ’s door for her, the foolishness started.
“Jilted Jill, is that you?”
PJ rolled her eyes at the nickname she earned as a teen. She damn site did not want Max to know how that came to be, but he hadn’t even been there ten seconds and her cousin James had already started.
“Hey, James. How are you? Can you please not call me that?”
“Girl, please. We’ve been calling you that so long, I forgot your real name.”
“I go by PJ now. Try using it.”
“PJ? Naw, that’s some stuck-up corporate name. You’re Jilted Jill around here.”
“Whatever,” PJ mumbled under her breath. She turned to Max and gave a half-hearted introduction. “Max, this is my rude cousin James. James this is Max.”
The man looked Max up and down with a frown on his face. PJ knew he was going to be rude but there was nothing she could do to stop it. James looked at Max’s offered hand like it stank and rolled his eyes.