I’m not flying down the freeway in a hurry to get to my destination, itching for the high I know is coming. I’m sated. Relaxed. Alive.
I glance over at Selene, wondering how she has this kind of magic over me. It’s not just the sex, although I could fuck that woman every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of her.
That thought comes out of nowhere, hitting me like a train. Goddamn, I really could. Usually, I’m all about the chase. I love it when a woman is a challenge, or when there’s a hint of danger in being with her. My statistics professor senior year at Stanford. The daughter of the CEO at my first job after college. Women I work with. Women who don’t want to give me the time of day, until I convince them otherwise. I go after them, loving every minute of the prowl. Once I have them, though, the excitement wears off pretty quickly. A few weeks. A couple months. There’s a reason my brother was surprised to hear me call Selene my girlfriend. That implies a level of commitment I don’t usually bother with.
But not only do I not want to share Selene with anyone else, my interest in her isn’t fading. If anything, the more time I spend with her the more I want her around.
And yes, it scares the fuck out of me. Genuinely scared, and I don’t do fear. Maybe that’s what this is—the intrigue of the fear. Maybe that’s what keeps driving me to be with her. To see her again. To spend my nights with her. To walk by her office just so I can get a glimpse of her. I’m driven by the strangeness of the fear, just like I’m usually driven by the thrill of the chase.
That must be it, because the only other explanation is something I’m not ready to contemplate.
We drive down a long road through empty fields, and the airstrip comes into view.
“Ronan,” Selene says, her voice betraying her anxiety, “what are we doing here?”
I grin at her. “Have you guessed yet?”
I find a parking space and we both get out. Selene stares up at the huge hangar, at the words Skydive Kapowsin in big red and blue letters.
“I am not jumping out of a perfectly good airplane,” she says.
I walk around the car and take her hands. “Yes, you are.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “No way.”
I put my fingers through her hair at the base of her neck. “Selene, you’re going to do this. Trust me.”
Her eyes lock with mine. “Okay,” she says. “I trust you.”
Suddenly the fear is so strong I almost get back in the car. She does trust me. She’s trusted me with her body in more ways than I expected—letting me touch her, hold her, pin her down, control her. I’ve tried to remain true to that trust and never hurt her, never push her past her limits.
But right now, she’s not just trusting me with her body. She’s trusting me with her life. And for a moment I’m not sure I want that responsibility.
Then I’m flooded with satisfaction, like the verbal confirmation of her trust was something I desperately needed. I kiss her, my fear melting in the face of my excitement.
“You don’t have anything to worry about,” I say. “I’ve done this hundreds of times. We’ll do a tandem jump. That means we’ll be harnessed together and I’ll have control of the chute. I’ll keep you safe.”
She bites her lower lip and smiles. I lead her inside and talk to Sam, the owner. I already made the arrangements for our jump. Normally they only let their own instructors do tandem jumps, but I have more than enough experience and the necessary certifications to make it legal.
They take Selene through the customary training session. It’s not long—with a tandem jump, there’s a lot less for a beginner to learn. We both get suited up and head out to the airstrip. Selene grips my hand as we walk toward the twin engine aircraft. She’s dressed in a bright blue skydiving suit with the harness that will attach her to me. I feel the weight of the gear on my back and adjust the straps on my shoulders. My heart starts to pump as we get in the plane. A tandem jump seems tame after some of the things I’ve done over the last couple years, but sharing it with Selene brings a whole new element to the experience.
The plane takes off and Selene keeps a death grip on my arm. The jump coordinator goes over some last-minute instructions and helps us get the harness connected. We get up to jump altitude. He double- and triple-checks everything and then opens the door.
Selene twists her head around. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
I put my arms around her and plant a kiss on her cheek. “Yes, you can. I’ve got you.”
We move toward the open door, Selene strapped in front of me. I have to push her forward, but I’m not letting her change her mind now. The wind rushes past, almost deafening. I adjust my goggles and take a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Fuck, I love this shit.
“Ready?” I yell above the noise. I put my hand on her forehead and tilt her head back against my shoulder so her neck doesn’t jerk when we hit the air. “Let’s do this.”
Then I grab the bar and hoist us out.
Suddenly we’re falling, plummeting through the air. We accelerate, and I deploy the drogue chute. It’s small, and doesn’t slow us down; it’s there to ensure proper deployment of the main canopy.
I hear Selene’s voice, flying past me on the wind. I spread my arms and legs wide, keeping Selene steady beneath me. We slice through the air and it feels thick, like water. My lungs burn a little, and the heady excitement sends a flood of euphoria through my mind. My entire body is teeming with vitality, tingling from my scalp to my toes.
The freefall is over too quickly, but I won’t take chances with Selene’s safety. I deploy the main canopy and there’s a jerk, as though we’re suddenly being pulled upward. Our descent slows as the chute billows out above us, and we go from horizontal to vertical, our legs dangling in the open air.