Chapter Five
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Rumer
Waking up to find the man I dreamed about last night standing in the bathroom is...disconcerting. It scares me that I dreamt of Mark. I can't control my feelings and desires in my sleep. I can't tell myself I shouldn't want this man who seems to want to pursue me. In my dreams, I can't stop myself from wanting him.
I think I dreamt of him...touching me last night. His hand skating over the bare skin of my hip and thigh. He spoke to me, comforting me. Which is worse than him doing something sexual to me. Comfort is something I don't have a lot of in my life currently. If this man shows me comfort, I might crack. I might be okay with him flirting with me and taking things further.
I have to shut this shit down - fast. I can't have a guy fucking everything up, especially my head. I'm not like these other people here and I have to remember that. They all have loving families that would have their backs if something happened to set their future back. I don't have that. They have homes and futures that are pretty certain. I don't.
I take a quick shower and make my way downstairs. Before I make it to the kitchen, I overhear a voice I would know anywhere. "So this slut just pitches herself at him and tries to hump his leg like a dog."
Oh my God! She’s not talking about me, is she? The last thing I need are rumors getting started about how I'm a whore and I sleep around. I would not put it past Tinsley to start unfounded shit like that just to be mean. She's such a bitch!
"I can't see Milly going at anyone like that, Tinsley." Trinity is too sweet to be friends with that viper. How the hell does a woman even befriend someone like Tinsley?
"Look all I know is the bitch is in heat and she slept with him last night."
I back up and take off for Rani’s room. Someone is going to have to stop this shit and the best person to do that is Rani. I knock softly on the door and wait. The last thing I want to do is ruin Rani's romantic weekend with Charlie but she and Milly are close.
Charlie opens the door and takes one look at me before turning to the bed Rani is still laying in, "I'm guessing someone has man trouble."
In a roundabout way, yes. Damn, he's good. He gives me a warm smile and shuts the door once I am in and he is out. Rani sits up in bed. The sheets are wrapped tight around her and I don't have to be a fucking detective to figure out a lot of sex happened in this room last night.
"Is something wrong? Are you alright?"
Damn, she is too sweet. "Not me. It's Milly." That has Rani focusing a lot harder. I take the next few minutes to tell her what I overheard.
"Shit. Shit, shit! That little bitch. She would say something like that about Milly. Milly's a freakin' virgin." She gasps and slaps her hand over her mouth. I'm not going to judge - so am I. In fact, knowing Milly is in the same untouched boat that I’m in makes me feel better.
"We have to do something. I don't want her to ruin Milly's weekend."
Rani nods at my words. "Especially since this weekend might last longer than we all thought it would." We both turn to the window where snow has once again started to fall, the clouds blocking what little sunlight there was.
I wait on Rani to dress and both of us make our way to the kitchen. "We need to split up. I'll talk to Jag and tell him what is going on. You get to Milly if you can. If you can't...,"
"I'll make sure no one hurts her feelings about it."
I make my way over to the room Milly is sharing with Jag but when I knock no one answers me. I go back to the kitchen and sit waiting. I see Jag and Rani talking off to the side and make my way over to the island. Milly comes in with a smile on her face that quickly slips away when Tinsley starts speaking.
To my surprise, it’s not Rani who stands up for Milly. It's the pretty blonde I don't know very well. I think her name is Betty or Betsy. I add my support, but I don't think I do a very good job considering I give away that Milly was a virgin before last night. She turns bright red and shoots worried eyes over to Rani who just now joined us.
Damn it! I can't even stick up for my friend the right way. Not that Milly needs any of my help. Jag is on her like sin on a southern preacher. Hell, the way Jag is acting they definitely slept together. He touches her like he owns her. God, it's sexy.
I sit and watch him actually feed her, like offering her bites of food from his hand. I wonder what being cared for like that would be like. Do you have to sleep with a guy to have them do that for you? If someone is willing to do that for me, am I willing to give it up? Am I the only virgin here now? I'm eighteen years old. I'm not going to have a lot more opportunities to meet someone and have hot weekend sex. In fact, after this week I am going to have to find a job and hit it hard so I have enough money for an apartment and textbooks as well.
This might be the last chance I have to be a normal teenager and do stupid, teenager stuff like fuck people I barely know just to say I did it. Isn't that what is supposed to happen? That's how scary movies always show teenagers. Not that I want my life to resemble a horror movie by no means. No more than it already does.
After breakfast, I find a quiet place to curl up and think through some things. Like what if I did say yes to Mark? Would it really be so bad? Would I really regret being with someone as hot as Mark - ever?
God, I love this library! I could totally fall asleep here after I've spent the day reading. Right now I watch the snow fall through the picture windows and try to lose myself in that instead of all the uncertainty that is my life.
Milly comes rushing in and sees me moving in my chair. "Will you come with me?"
"Is everything alright?" If that bitch Tinsley has done something to Milly, I swear to God I might pull her fucking extensions out.
"Yeah, some of the girls want to go sit in the little square room upstairs." I know the one she is talking about. It would have been my next stop had the library been occupied. "I...will you come with me?" She rushes to continue. "It's just the only person I know well besides Rani is you and everyone is going to want to talk and be around Rani and...,"
"And you want me to hang out with you because we're both antisocial loners." I can't hold back my laugh, especially not when Milly starts laughing with me. "Yeah, I'll come hold the wall up with you."
Both of us hang out with most of the other girls. Thankfully Tinsley isn't here. It's not as bad as I thought it would be and find myself actually having fun. Until the talk starts turning towards a subject I know nothing about - sex.
It seems to always come back to that, damn it! While the other women talk about really good sex and how they miss it, all I can do is sit and look uncomfortable. Yet one more example of me being the odd person out, the one who’s different from everyone else in the room. I'm so sick of being different.
Betsy, who is fucking cool as shit, suggests that we all do a girl's bonding thing and go outside -in the snow - to sit in the hot tub. They leave to put bathing suits on and I leave to take one thing in my life in my own hands. I am going to control this one aspect if I can't control anything else.