“Whenever you want. Have you told Sawyer?”
“No, not yet. You’re the only one that knows.”
“But it’s for him, right? The design, the placement. I’m pretty observant.”
“Well, I’d say so. You drew me perfectly.” She looks back down at the tablet, but I cup her cheek and pull her back to face me.
“Don’t look so guilty. This isn’t a berating, I’m just curious.”
“About?”
“Why you aren’t together.” I know Sawyer has told me his side, but it’s obvious to me that Harlow wants him.
“We aren’t together because we’re like brother and sister.”
“I get that you’re close, but I don’t think your feelings are platonic. Before you automatically deny it, know that I’m not judging you, and I’m not going to tell Sawyer any of this, I just want to know everything about you. Including how you’re feeling about other people.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“It is. I like you, and you like me, but you also like Sawyer.”
She scoffs. “It’s not as simple as that.”
“Why not?”
“I’m gonna need a drink for this conversation.” She sighs, and I follow her over to the counter where she makes us both a vodka and lemonade, downs hers, and makes another.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” I offer. “Obviously I want to, but making you uncomfortable is the last thing I want to do.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s about time I found my balls.” She takes her fresh drink back to the sofa, and I follow, pulling her over my lap so she’s straddling me as she takes a deep breath.
“When I’m with Sawyer, I’m probably the happiest I ever am.”
“Well, as fun as this is,” I joke, and the corner of her mouth tips up as she rolls her eyes.
“It’s not often I feel properly, giddily, freely happy. Sawyer makes me feel like that. And you make me feel like that.” I don’t move or respond, watching the myriad of emotions flick across her face as she bares her truth to me. “Growing up, I didn’t have a stable upbringing. I bounced back and forth between children’s homes and foster families. People were quick to want me because I looked like an angel, but I was just a scared, rejected kid, and I would act out. Nothing bad, not really. But when you’re expecting an angel and then get a kid with behavioral issues, well... I guess any rebellion seems awful. I’ve never had anyone to rely on or have as a constant. Until Sawyer. And he wanted me to stay. Even as a child, he was vocal about wanting me to stay with him. He’s the only one who has said it and meant it. He proves that every day, and he’s there for me, no matter what shitty decisions or mistakes I make.”
Her story tugs at my chest, and I want to wrap her up in my arms and promise her the world, but I know she needs to get this out.
“We had this pact when we were younger. It started as this silly thing when we were teenagers and hated the thought of having a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Everyone always made comments about us being together, and it made us uncomfortable at that age, so we agreed to only ever be friends. Then, even as we grew up and started actually liking the opposite sex, it just stuck... and now it’s grown into something serious. I can’t risk telling him, in case that’s finally the mistake so stupid that he doesn’t stick with me.”
“Jesus, Harlow.”
“What?”
“You know that decent people don’t leave after one mistake? You’re allowed to make them.”
She shrugs. “Maybe in theory.”
“Are you just waiting for Sawyer to be ready?” I don’t think that’s true, but I need to know before I throw myself into this relationship headfirst.
“I spend time with you because I want to. You kind of called to me, and I had to see where it was going. Now, I don’t want to not do this with you, but I also don’t want Sawyer to have this with anyone else. Guess that’s a problem, huh?”
“What is this?” I ask, gesturing between us.
She watches me for a second before her face drops, as if she’s closing in on herself already, but her gaze sits right where my tattoo is under my top. Trailing her finger along the material as if she can see through it, she shifts nervously in my lap, and I clench my teeth as her perfect ass grinds on me.Think unsexy thoughts. As she looks up, her eyes sparkle, and she repeats the gesture. I grip her hips with my hands, keeping her still. “Harlow,” I warn.
“I don’t know. I’ve run out of words. Let me show you instead.”