14
Kitty was done with silence.
She was through with the cryptic questions and the hot and cold commands.
Stay.Go.Stay.Go.She might have enjoyed his commanding ways when he was touching her so sweetly, but she was no dog to obey his orders without a thought.
Besides, she reminded herself.She’d be gone soon enough anyway.She’d already lost her position here, and most likely any good opinion he might have had of her.
She had nothing left to lose.“You asked me a question and I told you the truth.I wanted you to take me the other night.”Her cheeks turned to flames but she made herself say it.To lay it all out there so in the cold dark nights to come, she’d at least know that she’d been honest.“I wanted you to touch me…”
His growl made her hesitate.When she licked her lips, his gaze followed.But he didn’t move.
“I-I felt something I’d never felt before when you touched me, and…and truthfully, I’d felt it before that night.Every day that I worked for you, I was—”
“Scared,” he finished.“You were terrified of me.”
She nodded.She had been, and that wasn’t like her at all.And it was only now, knowing what had passed between them that she understood it.“I was scared of the way you made me feel.”
His glare was hard and unyielding as if daring her to continue.
She took a deep breath.“Every time I was in a room with you, I could…I could feel you.Your eyes on me.Your presence there.I was so very aware of you, and I’ve never felt like that before—”
His grip on her arms cut her off and then she was being crushed to his chest, his mouth hard and demanding on hers.For a moment she forgot everything but this.
But when his hot tongue teased hers and then retreated, she was forced back a step.
“So you wanted it,” he said.“You wanted me.”
She nodded.Drat, how was she supposed to think clearly now?But perhaps she wasn’t.She didn’t need to prove anything, and she had nothing to gain other than her pride.But she suspected she’d lost her pride around this man a long ways back.“I wanted you, and you made it clear you wouldn’t sleep with a virgin, and so I let you believe that I was…that I…er…”
“Yes,” he said, a hint of a smile playing over his lips and making her stomach swoop and soar.“I recall.”
She swallowed, reaching out to touch the buttons of his shirt, just because she could.Because he was there, in touching distance, and he wouldn’t be for long.“I am sorry.It was deceitful and wrong.”
He murmured an agreement.“Nearly everything I do is deceitful and wrong.”
She frowned.“I don’t believe that’s true.”
He shook his head.“Don’t go making me out to be better than I am.”
“I’m not.”She pouted and his lips twitched again.“I want to hear you laugh.A-and I want to see you smile.”The words tumbled out of her.She ought to be more embarrassed than she was but his kiss had addled her, and all she kept thinking was…this might be the last time she saw him.“I want to hear you read from all those pretty books you have in that library, and I want to hear you order commands like…like you did.”
She tried to dip her head as she continued but his fingers caught her chin and lifted her face so she couldn’t look away.
“You are a little scary, I know.And I know you do bad things.But to me you’ve always been kind.Even before…before the other night.You have no idea how much your fairness and your loyalty sets you apart.The only men I’ve known have been users, takers.They think only of what they can take and then they bully and hurt to have it.”
Dark emotions flickered in his eyes, but she was too far gone to stop.
“You might not be nice,” she said.“And you might not be kind.But you are so good in so many ways.In all the ways that matter.And the way you look at me makes me…”
“It makes you what?”he growled when she trailed off.
“It makes me wonder who is good to you.Who shows you kindness and love and…” She cut herself off, horrified by the words she was spewing now.She went to back away but once more he caught her chin and he held her in place.
“My God, Kitty, you might just be the death of me.”
She felt stupid tears welling up.Again.